Down in the dumps about our country?
Bemused about Obama?
Cantankerous about our Congress??
Call now, for MORE and BETTER DEMOCRATS!
Has this ever happened to you? You're living in a country caught in two wars, governed by a Republican President intent on cutting taxes to the rich, cutting benefits to the poor, and taking apart all the regulations on the powerful, so they can continue fleecing the poor after he leaves office. And then, you kick the guy out of office, in favor of a guy that wants to fix things. But then, it's a few months later, and things aren't going as you planned.
(show glum face saying, "Things aren't going as I planned!")
What you need, my fine friend, is MORE and BETTER DEMOCRATS!
(have face look wide-eyed at the camera with an open mouth!)
Don't be confused by cheap imitations! There are those that will try and tell you you should stop supporting Democrats. The thinking goes that since there are BAD Democrats, that the only way to make them LESS BAD is to let MORE OF THEM IN.
But does this make sense to you?!
(show confused face shaking his head from side to side: "That's just crazy!")
Of course it's crazy! Because, what we need is (crowd should catch on now, join in): MORE and BETTER DEMOCRATS!
Here's how it works! Meet John. John is a "Bad Democrat". (cut to John: "Hi, I'm a bad Democrat! I enjoy taking liberal bills and tearing them apart until bad-faith Republicans love them!" big smile.) Now, do you want a Bad Democrat? (cut to audience: "Noooooooo!") Well then, how about a lot of them? (cut to audience - smiling! good times! "Nooooooo!!") Okay then, how about a Good Democrat?
Meet Jack. Jack is a "Good Democrat". (cut to Jack - he's fresh-faced and vital. "Hi, I'm a good Democrat. Not many people know about me yet, but with your help, they will! I will not work with bad-faith Republicans, and I'll fix problems and work to make things better!")
Now, doesn't that sound better? (cut to wild applause.) Well, if you call now - not later, but now! - you can get a full set of Good Democrats! But this offer won't last long! Wait too long, and all you'll have is LESS and WORSE DEMOCRATS!
You must act now! And you can have them all, for the low low price of methodical planning, disciplined fundraising, and tireless volunteer work!
How does that sound to you? (face-guy pumps his fist and says, "That sounds great!") How about you? (cut to audience applauding).
And how about YOU?
