Let Joe Lieberman talk, talk, talk. That's all he ever does anyway, he'll be good at it. And I'll even write his speech for him. Here is is:
Joe Lieberman. I, me, mine. I got mine. Have you got yours? I got mine. I'm Joe Lieberman. May I introduce myself? I'm Joe Lieberman. Me. Me, me, me, me. Lieberman, Joe. Me and my Senate health care plan. That' covers me, Joe Lieberman. I'm a senator. Yes, me, Joe Lieberman. I've got health care coverage paid for by you. Are you Joe Lieberman? You should be Joe Lieberman. I'm Joe Lieberman. I'm a Senator.
Repeat until nation collapses from boredom. But that's okay with me, because I've decided to join the $50 and the $100 bill and become one of Joe's constituent. Unfortunately it means I will have to take up a life of crime, or become a Wall Street banker, as follows:
This "health care reform" is no reform at all. It's a giant gift to the insurance companies. Here's how the "reform" works:
- Buy health insurance from the pirates or we fine you with more taxes.
- Fuck you.
Now, what I have decided to do is become a health insurance company. I have purchased some basic supplies: pirate hat, black flag with skull, parrot, cannon, and rum. I've also worked out a cross marketing plan with Disney. Kids will love riding on Insurance Companies of the Caribbean. And look for Harry Reid and Olympia Snowe to star in the upcoming Insurance Companies of the Caribbean IV: The Excise Tax
My coverage plan is quite simple:
- Send me enough money every month to pay a mortgage on a second house.
- Fuck you.
Pay now, ye scurvy rogues. Free hooks and wooden legs to the first 1,000 prisoners. Don't make me buckle my swash on you!