Saw this on the wires today and had to pass it on:
WASHINGTON (FauxNews) -- This evening, a crowd of angry tanning salon patrons stood on the steps of the Capitol in sunglasses and swimsuits, shouting their disapproval of the new tax on indoor tanning services in the current version of the Senate health care bill.
"No taxation without exfoliation!" shouted their leader, Buffy von Buffy, leader of the Freedom to Burn Coalition, as at least 15 half-naked people shivered in the winter District weather.
Their spirits were plenty heated, however. "We're tanned, and we're taking you on!" the group shouted. A Congressional aid who claimed to be from the office of Rep. Cantor-Diagonalization cheered them on. "The Representative is with you in spirit. Only the fact that he is at home enjoying the holiday in a warm house is keeping him from standing with you today."
"We believe this to be discrimination against Willfully Tanned Americans," said von Buffy. "We devote hours each week to maintaining the perfect condition of the epidermis, and all we get in return for serving our nation is a tax targeted at us, just us, no one else.
"I'll tell you what, it's a sun tax," she added. "And as patriots did at least three months ago, we'll stand here explaining why this tax is un-American."
The group was undaunted by the relative lack of a crowd. "We'll just photoshop our supporters in. We know they're out there," said one member.
About three minutes after the protest started, participants started to beg overcoats from reporters surrounding them, but they claim they'd be back at a time "when we'll have more leverage," said von Buffy, "like August."
"But our hearts are so in this," she added. "We'd storm the Capitol, but with all this tanning lotion, some of us would slip on the stairs, get a calf scratched, and ruin the glow."
Have a great evening!