I love coming here, on occasion. Many of the posts are well written, well reasoned and supported by data, or contain heartfelt, personal narratives. Some have brought me to tears, in a good way. But I've been both encouraged and discouraged on a daily basis by some of the comments I've read here.
The comments are some of the nastiest I've read online, and on a sadly consistent basis. It's one of the reasons I don't post too often, or comment too often myself. It's just not worth the kneejerk abuse.
So I'm wondering, can we all just get along? Can we agree to disagree thoughtfully, and with liberal doses of kindess?
I know, I know. It's more fun (for some) to be rude. It's quicker to just say what you feel than to couch it in terms the other person can better hear, understand, and perhaps learn from. Believe me, I've been as guilty of it, especially before I got to this site, as anyone alive!!
But isn't the nastiness counterproductive? In my experience, it just doesn't help. Some people certainly close their mouths, as I have. Some may agree with you just to make the abuse go away. But have you really changed anyone's mind? And isn't that why we argue in the first place - to change minds?
I know to some, sarcasm and snark supposedly exhibit "the highest form of intelligence." There's a quote about that somewhere. But not to me. To me sarcasm exhibits a certain meanspiritedness, and makes me less inclined to care what you have to say. And brutally hitting your opponent with words may win you many battles while losing you bigger wars. As I age, I'm far more interested in winning wars than battles, which is probably why I'm more accepting of the current (and seriously flawed) health care proposal.
In addition, people call others liars, but don't supply the facts that would expose the lie. I'm not interested in nearly anyone's opinion, to be honest. But I am always interested in facts, and look for those when scanning and rec'ing comments and posts.
I'd love to see the people here make a collective New Year's Resolution to think twice, step back from the keyboard, and take a deep breath before firing off that response. Not only will the site be better for it, but each of us will become a bit more productive in a good way, not having to expend useless emotional and physical energy fending off attacks.
And if you're at the receiving end of the attack, maybe it's worth trying a new tactic - ignore the offender. Seriously - when I see someone attacked improperly, I don't need to see their defense. It's often already self-evident. If you must respond, try to respond with facts, not emotion. It will carry so much more weight.
Thank you all, keep up the good fight(s), and I wish all of you a merry whatever you are celebrating currently and a most Happy New Year.
Signed,
A reformed snarkaholic