At this time when we celebrate (and complain about) our families, take a moment to consider how you might be able to be family to a teen who has no permanent family to call home. 30,000 teens--30,000!--leave foster care without permanency. This may not be the typical Kos post, but I think this is an issue of injustice that in the future we will view with the same disdain as debtor's prisons and Dickensian orphanages.
A year and a half ago, my partner and I adopted a young man who aged out of foster care. Like many of the kids leaving the system with various delays in maturity, experience, and lack of preparation, our son struggled to stay afloat as a young adult. He was operating with the life skills of a young adolescent. He tried hard, and slipped into depression and desperation, and miraculously crossed our path as we were considering older child adoption. December 11 2008 he legally became our son, even asking to share our hyphenated last name.
By the time a child whose parental rights have been terminated to protect them from abuse or neglect turns 12, their chances of being adopted drop in to the single digits. Foster care is a crisis solution, and bless the many amazing foster families out there, but it doesn't replace a family who will be there always--through young adulthood, for life challenges and joys--and who will always call you son or daughter. The work of child protection is not done until we fulfill the promise to restore a child to a loving, committed, and safe family that will stick with them forever.
Adopting our son has changed our lives and I think I can say it has changed his. It's not easy. It takes stubbornness and commitment and a willingness to throw your pride and instincts to the wind and really pay attention to the young person you are trying to parent. It takes bravery on the part of teens to be vulnerable to an adult they don't know and say "yes, you can parent me and help me through the next steps." But it is a calling and a cause that deserves more attention.
Check out your local Heart Gallery for more info on waiting teens.
Here are two current stories on teens and adoption:
http://americanradioworks.publicradi...
http://www.startribune.com/...