CHRONIC TONIC posts on Thursdays at 9 EST, it is a place to share stories, advice, and information and to connect with others with chronic health conditions and those who care for them. Our diarists will report on research, alternative treatments, clinical trials, and health insurance issues through personal stories. You are invited to share in comments (and note if you'd like to be a future diarist). In addition to our weekly diaries, please join us for ongoing conversations at the Kossacks Networking site.
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Tonight's Diarist: andsarahtoo
Teddy bears—a hobby of mine—are brought to you courtesy of the good people at the Vermont Teddy Bear Company. They’re great bears, and if you happen to be in Burlington, VT, the tour of the facility is great fun and costs all of a dollar.
New Year’s Eve! Personally, it’s a tough anniversary for me—the suicide of a family member in 1993 and my first excursion with the ex-husband in 1997—but it’s still my favorite holiday. I love the promise of a new beginning and the excitement of making plans.
I’m also, as I write this, enjoying my first glass of wine.
We’ll see how this diary goes along.
I thought I’d write a little bit about my New Year’s resolutions.
1. Enjoy simple pleasures. All my life, I have shied away from wine because I have close relatives who like it a little too much. But I’m not them, and I like wine. I will enjoy wine in moderation in 2010. I recently got a library card, and I will do more pleasure reading. I will get my hair cut every couple of months. I think I have been too quick to say that since I can’t have the big things—freedom from fatigue, joints that work, the ability to have a cold and still function—it doesn’t make sense to go after the little things. In truth, it becomes even more important to enjoy the little things. I am determined to start enjoying my life again.
2. Actively seek healing. Forgive me, Chronic Tonic, for I have sinned. It has been four months since my last rheumatologist appointment. I cancelled the last one because I didn’t have a way to get there—it was when my Jeep died, and it’s more than forty miles away. What I have not mentioned is that I never made another one. I’m just worn out and disappointed, and I don’t think that modern medicine has a lot more to offer me. But I haven’t talked to a trainer about an exercise plan. I haven’t spoken with a dietician. There’s more I can do, to feel better and be more productive, and I should be doing it… so I will.
3. Maintain my relationships. For too long, I have allowed my illness to dictate the quality of my friendships. I’m a lousy correspondent. I fall off the grid for weeks at a time, I don’t return phone calls, and I have to improve. I don’t work outside the home, and I usually feel lousy, so I don’t consider myself an inspiring conversational partner. But I lost a friend in 2009 that I hadn’t spoken to in too long—she died at the age of 42 of an undiagnosed heart condition—and I will not let that happen again. So I’m going to make a point of reaching out. Consider yourselves warned.
4. Write. I bought a new journal. I set up a blog template. Still, nothing happens, because I have this inertia problem. I’ve said this every year for the last, oh, nineteen, but this is the year that I start taking writing seriously. I would love for you guys to hold me to that—ask me what I’m working on, try and shame me into keeping my promises to myself.
I was going to post five, but I feel like four is all I have at the moment. What about you? What are your New Year’s Resolutions?
Upcoming Diarists:
Um. If you are the volunteer for next week, please let me know... quietly... because I forgot to write your name down, and I wouldn't want the whole group to know that I am losing my mind. What? This isn't being shared telepathically? D'oh!
Stranded Wind may not know it yet, but he is the volunteer for the week after that.
Please indicate in comments your interest in writing, or email andsarahtoo (at) gmail (dot) com.
Also, if you do not receive a reminder email for Chronic Tonic and would like to, please let andsarahtoo know via email.