I have "Ah-ha" moments at the oddest times. Driving to work this morning, grumbling about traffic and my fellow drivers on I-5 who took the time to scrape dime sized holes in the frost which had built up over night on their windshields – It hit me that I had become something which I abhorred.
Now, bear with me here. I was raised Methodist, but later found out that Christianity was just not my cup of tea; that’s not to say there’s anything wrong with the basic tenants of the faith mind you. However, one of the things about the Christian faith which annoys me to no end is the people who constantly bring their faith to my doorstep. As I said, I’m not anti-Christianity, nor am I opposed to people being enthusiastic about their beliefs...just respect my beliefs and don’t try to convert me. Fastest way I know to get me to shut a conversation down is by telling me that something you believe, and know in your heart to be true, is the only correct answer – I’ll promise my eyes will glaze over as my brain screams "Waiter! Check please!"
These people truly believe that what their faith tells them is correct. They don’t believe it because they are evil, twisted or sadistic (although the Cheney clan certainly tests that ascertain)...they truly believe that they are right because of what their religion has taught them. It doesn’t make it any more palatable when someone says "I’d like to talk to you about God. ", and I normally respond with "...mmmmm I’d rather not."...but I am at least civil in my discourse with them. Civility in public discourse, I believe, is a lost art.
The reason I bring this up is because of some of the posts I’ve seen of late on these boards, and the realization I had while driving to work this morning. It occurred to me that I have been behaving just like the "fundies" which drive me crazy. Every time I get on Facebook to jump on my soap box and vilify conservatives for their beliefs and belittle them in conversation and correspondence, I have unwittingly morphed into that boorish lout that people avoid at parties – you know the one I’m talking about: the loud guy who is not bashful at all with puffing his chest out and lecturing the crowd on the evils of the world and his righteous beliefs. I am that fundamentalist. What I know, what I believe in my heart of hearts...all of the liberal thoughts I hold near and dear to me will not waver. I’m too eager to preach, to testify, to minister to these lost souls...and it has made some of my acquaintances and friends – in their own ways – to give me the "...mmmmm I’d rather not" response to my outrage with social issues, LGBT issues, poverty, war, rampant capitalism and the threat of religion driving policy in this country. While I’ve shouted and preached about the evils that I see – the ideals of conservatives which are abhorrent to my own – I have only succeeded in marginalizing myself.
Along those same lines, some of the authors here have become the "fundies" of the left. They and I share the same outrage, the same disappointment, the same sick feeling when they see and read about the actions of some of those on the other side of the aisle; however their zeal in preaching that anger has grown a set of teeth and has been turned lose within their own house like a crazed badger. Disagreement is one thing, certainly, and I believe it is one of the many things which keep our lefty family healthy, sane and well-balanced. However, when the disagreement and well-meaning debate turns into a blood sport where the razor-sharp wit of varying diarists are turned against each other in an attempt to prove who has the bigger pecker...we lose our footing on higher ground.
This begs many questions: How do we get our ideals, principals and values out into the light of day for our conservative and independent brethren to understand without being the door to door evangelical who gets the door slammed in their face? How do we embrace the differences we have in our community - instead of pushing those differences to arms length while we look for a thesaurus to provide us with the newest way of denigrating someone? Why look down on methods that progressives use to create a good feeling in the midst of everything going on (pootie diaries and Blackwaterdog’s essays to be more precise)? Why use phrases like Obamabots, sheeple and much less kind names to identify other members of our family? Why shit on our brothers and sisters here at Kos when that anger could be turned into actions outside the cyber world of blogs?
It all comes down to this: We are fundamentalists. We are the left answer to what we hate on the right. We have our nut jobs and extremists as well. We are marginalizing ourselves with our in-fighting, finger pointing, hand wringing and public displays of rude behavior. I’ll admit to being a left-wing, progressive, socialist, tree-hugging, pro-choice "friend of Dorothy". I survived the Reagan Administration – when being a liberal democrat was about as socially acceptable as wearing white below the belt after Labor Day. I’ve been fighting this fight for a long time, and it hit me that with all of my hair pulling, screaming and stamping about in righteous indignation – I may have pushed people further from my understanding of the truth of things. It’s hard to get people to listen to your points of view when they scatter at the approach of "the angry liberal". Civility, understanding, patience, respect and as the Buddha said:
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him."
I am not advocating that anyone muzzle their opinions. I would hope that we find a way to advance our beliefs, share our ideals and communicate our positions in a more understanding, measured and logical manner. I will always feel the fires of outrage burning in my gut every time I think back on the Bush Administration, on all of the outrageous actions which we as a race have inflicted on each other, on the inhumanity we’ve shown the other living things which share this planet and for those who suffer from injustice, intolerance, inequality and oppression. The difference, is that instead of being "that lefty fundamentalist guy" that people avoid, I will engage in thoughtful debate...and while not compromising my ideals, morals, beliefs or positions – I will share them – planting seeds in hope of a communal garden.
I don’t want to be that guy. I’ll leave with a couple of thoughts from the Buddha, and wish you all a good weekend. The "Ah-Ha" moment on the freeway this morning has given me much to consider.
"In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves."
"Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared."