The Curious Case of Bristol Palin
A PLAY IN 3 ACTS
Dramatis Personae
SARAH PALIN, a governor
BRISTOL PALIN, her daughter, a teenager
THE MEDIA, a reporter
THE CITIZEN, an observer
CONSERVATIVE CHORUS, a group of morons
(more after the fold)
The Curious Case of Bristol Palin
A PLAY IN 3 ACTS
Dramatis Personae
SARAH PALIN, a governor
BRISTOL PALIN, her daughter, a teenager
THE MEDIA, a reporter
THE CITIZEN, an observer
CONSERVATIVE CHORUS, a group of morons
ACT I
BRISTOL PALIN: Mom, I am pregnant.
SARAH PALIN: I am running for Vice President!
CONSERVATIVE CHORUS: We love Sarah!
SARAH PALIN: I believe in abstinence-only education and I am Pro Life! Also!
CONSERVATIVE CHORUS: We love you Sarah!
THE MEDIA: Bristol Palin is pregnant.
THE CITIZEN: That seems ironic.
SARAH PALIN: I will defend my daughter! Leave Bristol alone!
CONSERVATIVE CHORUS: Any talk of Bristol's situation is an attack! She is a brave girl and we love her like we love Sarah!
SARAH PALIN: Also!
ACT II
SARAH PALIN: I have lost the election to become Vice President!
CONSERVATIVE CHORUS: We still love you Sarah!
SARAH PALIN: I love my supporters! I will continue to speak out for them! Also!
CONSERVATIVE CHORUS: 2012!
ACT III
BRISTOL PALIN: Abstinence is not realistic.
CONSERVATIVE CHORUS: Bristol Palin is not an expert in education! She's just a girl who got pregnant and she is wrong!
THE CITIZEN: I wonder if Sarah Palin will defend her daughter against her own supporters.
BRISTOL PALIN: Mom?
(Sarah Palin opens mouth, shuts mouth, bows head.)
Curtain.