"Ummm pew glig-blidl mmmmmmmm dah! dah! dah!"
Got that?
At this very moment, as I type, I am trying to keep my one year old son from banging on my keyboard with his sippy cup while he tells me what's what.
Tiny airborne droplets of vitamin D milk are, right now, splattering on my face. Thanks kid. Thanks.
Five minutes ago I saw him eying up an electrical outlet with the glint of drool on his lip that means "I...must...obey...call of...danger!" So I barked my pre-emptive "No! No outlets."
I am one of the many and growing numbers of people who are both stay at home parents and full time...
hold, we have a bumped head
...okay, back.
Where was I? Oh yes! Both stay at home parents and full time bread winners.
Oh for the love of... "Please spit that out...thank you."
[enter disturbing Going Off The Deep End laugh here]
Are you one of those?
When you have a phone meeting do you put the small child in his crib or play pen, and tell the bigger child to please draw quietly in the same room with the younger one while you get your coat on and stand in the freezing, 10 degree Fahrenheit garage and try to pretend you're giving your client's project priority while in reality you need to have some macaroni and cheese made in the next 15 minutes or your 4 year old will slowly descend into hunger inspired madness. And the mortification when a paying client starts to hear children in the background "Daddy! I just pooped in the toilet! Wanna come look?" The clients pretend to understand and take it with good humor, but they seem to become more anxious about writing projects or web projects ever after...will they get done on time?
Sound familiar?
Lately I've been more forthcoming with my clients from the get go.
"My office is in my home. I have kids there. They'll make noise. Your stuff will get done." But there's still that nervousness from clients I don't get when they think I'm in an office single-mindedly attending to their stuff from 9 to 5.
...hold on, diaper change time. Stinky, stinky little man. And so delightful about it.
...okay...back...
From 9 to 5? More like 6am to 2am, right?
And there are the days where you have a deadline. You need, need, need to have something done by noon and the kids pick that time to tear the house apart, bang on the keyboard, pour themselves a cup of juice and spill it on the couch, trip over a toy and whack their head on the chair arm.
Right?
And it's not like you can just Not Do the Work.
You're a breadwinner.
In some cases you're THE breadwinner. Maybe you're a single parent. Maybe your spouse works outside the home for peanuts from a minimum wage job or has started his or her own business because there are no jobs to be had, and they're not bringing any money home.
So of course you have to get the income generating work done, change the diapers, prepare breakfast, lunch, and dinner, clothe them, kiss ouchies and apply the Spiderman or Power Puff Girl bandaids and then stay up until 4:00 AM until the work is done. And at 6:00 AM, it starts all over with the one year old babbling to himself.
It's nice at 2 AM isn't it? It's just you. And nobody needs anything. Maybe it's time to write something fun on DailyKos.com. Ahhhh...yeah. That's better.
Maybe in your sleep deprivation and stress you've lost your temper amidst a screaming baby and a boss or client who needs something now now now. You felt that surge of fury so you picked up the crying baby and brought her to the crib or someplace safe and went outside to chop some wood for five minutes or punch a wall or maybe smoke a cigarette just to collect yourself so you wouldn't do anything rash or stupid you'd regret. Breathe in. Breathe out. Ahhhh...
There ya go...
Oops...time for lunch.
Back.
But what are you going to do? The...
Hold on. Sorry! Sorry. Nap time. Sweet, sweet nap time.
OKAY! now I'm really back while this kid sleeps.
But what are you going to do? There aren't any jobs that pay enough to cover daycare AND living expenses. Hell. There aren't any jobs at all. The cost of daycare is astronomical. You're either a single parent, or your spouse works someplace where there can be no kids. But either way, this is the best and only option for staying above water.
Oh but geeze you feel guilty about it. You have work to do. Projects to finish. And your sweet, sweet little punkin' is grinning at you with those two bottom teeth. He points at something next to you with an inquisitive look and says "dee? quiglldiggle!" He wants to play. And he's just so darn cute, and your heart breaks.
Stupid work. We hope it keeps coming.
Heh. And we work from home. So people just DROP BY. Or they ask us to help them with errands because we're home and Home means Available. When they hear "Work From Home," they move right on past the "Work" part and focus in on the "From Home" part. You always need to tell them "Sorry...I'm working. No really. I'm working. I work."
And of course we're the lucky ones. We are. Those of us who can work from home and watch our kids. We're very lucky. Some folks are stuck in a situation where they don't happen to have a skill set that allows them to work from home, or allows them to own a business where they can watch their kids. Some of these folks can't afford the daycare costs, but they can't afford to stay at home with the kids without a job (these folks, if they live in Michigan, should know there's state assistance for daycare costs if you're below a certain income level).
And of course a shout-out to all of those who work outside the home and feel a twinge of guilt or regret about not being with their kids. And hats off to those who manage their households and families for no pay whatsoever.
Update [2009-2-4 12:1:57 by Muskegon Critic]: I can't edit this poll to include the Childless. Sorry guys!