Evolutionists believe that the Sun is round and that a round Earth travels in a round circle around it. They claim that since the birth of their leader Charles Darwin, the product of an accident by two fumbling English, the Earth has circled the Sun 200 times.
Accidents are in fact the sole causes of life, according to the Evolutionist teachings. Just as the elder Darwin's kipper accidentally found the correct orifice on Missus Darwin and he busted a nut, surprising them both, so in the Beginning the universe rubbed itself a certain way as it was "scratching an itch", and Bang!
The Universe is therefore amusingly incompetent, letting us all off the hook. And what better way to throw off all responsibility than to throw an all-day par-tay.
Darwin Day will be celebrated in 38 countries and over a hundred important US cities, plus Wichita, Kansas.
In Sjaarskord Sweden, atheist capital of Northern Europe, children will display pretty rocks claimed to be 100 million year-old dinosaur poop. (Olgar Fleen, minister of the only church in Sjaarskord, told reporters that
it was 6000 year old angel poop, "because it doesn't stink." )
But it's hard to argue with the facts, and Godless atheists are challenged to answer the razor-sharp reasoning of Creationists:
Recently, a thought captivated my mind that proves that the theory of evolution is a big hoax. The thought is simple and yet profound ... why is there no recorded history before approximately 4,000 B.C.? The answer is obvious ... there was no history! Think about it!
I'm trying. But you're right, you have to be. But what do you say to people using that science stuff. I took woodshop.
Oh sure, some stubborn evolutionists are going to start talking about carbon-dating, archeological findings, etc.
Stubborn is right. I knew a "scientist" who dated carbon. Carbon dumped him, but he couldn't let go. Carbon had to get a restraining order. Now he can't get any closer than a distance computed by Bragg's Law.
Evolutionists claim that man evolved over billions of years (that's billions with a "B"). If there were any truth to these false claims by unscrupulous scientists, then man's historical record should span back at least hundreds-of-thousands of years, if not millions. There is no record of a cataclysmic event that destroyed mankind prior to 4,000 B.C. And if there were, surely some of the survivors would have passed this information down to generations to follow. The Bible dates creation, as we know it today, at approximately 4,000 B.C. Thus, it was approximately 6,000 years ago that God, Jesus Christ, created the heavens and the earth in 6-days. It was 6,000 years ago that Jesus Christ spoke the stars into existence. It was 6,000 years ago that Jesus spoke animals, fish, plants, and land into existence.
Jesus, what an inspirational speaker. The guy had some lines.
First of all, Creatonist dude, you leave too many unanswered questions: Jesus Christ for instance, is he God or God's sidekick or what. What is Jesus doing running around in an uncreated Heaven, talking stars into existence? You know what, I don't agree with Creationism. And since one has to choose between Christian Fundamentalism or atheism, according to most progressives anyway, I guess I'll have to go with the Godless Ones.
Richard Dawkins sets it straight. From the first sentence in his best-selling book, "The Blind Watchmaker":
"This book is written in the conviction that our own existence once presented the greatest of all mysteries, but that is a mystery no longer because it is solved."
And that's that. No more strolling around under the moon and stars and wondering about the meaning of life. Isn't that fantastic? The meaning is, there is no meaning. It's all accidental, random, it's statistics. There was no silly meaning in the beginning, when the Void wanked off. The Void just wanked off. It wasn't thinking about anyone. What's love got to do with it?
Oh. Well. I...I guess that's the best choice.