Holy shit this is funny: Clips of O'Reilly from the audio-book version of his obviously terrible 1998 work of fiction, Those Who Trespass.
Someone needs to do new O'Reilly remixes with such great quotes, in his voice, as:
Say baby, put down that pipe and get my pipe up.
I would like you to unhook your bra and let it slide down your arms. You can keep your shirt on.
Cup your hands under your breasts and hold them for ten seconds.
And the soon-to-be-classic, I hope:
I wish I were a lesbian.
And that's not all! If you ever wanted to have Bill O'Reilly explain to you how to perform cunnilingus, or get sexy in the shower, why, what are you waiting for? Click the link above!
And to be clear, this isn't a joke. Listen to it all, and suddenly "falafel" makes even more sense.