I recently (well maybe a month ago) heard someone on TV whining about bailing out troubled home owners. Personally I don't have a problem with a bail out since it seems most people need help through no fault of their own. I don't consider that a selfish reason to back bail outs and I, personally, don't mind shelling out to help others.
But there are some who can't see the big picture when it comes to helping others and it is useful to give them a self-serving reason to help someone else. In response to one particular whiner on TV another person on TV gave a good self-serving reason to bail out other people. Empty houses lowers the value of your own house. Helping others, in the end, is self-serving.
This reminds me of the most important thing I learned at University.
Don't hurt yourself to hurt others. Or, more passively, don't allow yourself to be hurt by allowing someone else to be hurt.
We had a class project to do. We were told of it the first day of term. The project would be a group project and each Friday a different group would present. This means that some weeks before your group was to present, you had better get your group together for some planning sessions.
No one in the group knew who the other people in their group were. A couple weeks before we were to present someone went to the black board and wrote out when we should meet and where (for our first meeting). I was stoked and ready to go. Presenting on the discovery of DNA. What a great topic! Since it was historical it gave us some room to be creative and that is what the professor strongly suggested we do. He advised all groups not to simply read out a presentations from the front of the room. Be interesting.
Meeting day comes and only 3 of 7 people show up. I was pissed. There really wasn't much time to plan anything. How many more meetings could we squeeze in? So, being young and stupid, I bitterly suggested (with utmost seriousness), "let's just each take a topic and read it out in front of the class". To which responded a wise (and now anonymous) young woman "No! We're not going to get a low mark just because they don't show up."
I replied "yeah but what if we do all the work and we all get the same grade?!?!?"
"So what?" she replied, "at least we won't get a bad mark."
And she very wisely explained that it didn't matter if someone dragged along on our coattails if we can still do well. "Don't be petty!". So we planned to perform a play. An historical documentary for 7 people. If the other 4 didn't show up, we made contingencies.
But those other four did show up. We contributed a great deal by adding their own research and ideas to what we started and we got a grade the professor said was "unheard of" (93%). To summarize, I got a great mark because I was prepared to let someone have a free ride on my hard work.
This project changed my life and affected many many decisions I have made in the 20 years since. It is, in a big way, why I changed from being a conservative to a progressive. Because I see how being progressive is good for me and satisfies my selfish desires. I want free health care so letting everyone else have it ensures it for myself. I want unemployment assistance, so letting everyone else have it ensures it for myself. I don't want to be burnt as a heretic, so encouraging the tolerance of all religions ensures my own safety.
So please, ride my coattails - and if I fall backwards you can cushion my fall.