Mr. Corkgirl and I have been engaging in a back and forth discussion about marriage equality with an old friend from my hometown (Glenwood, Iowa). It started when she called Iowa State Senate Majority Leader Mike Gronstal (D, Council Bluffs) a "Wolf in sheep's clothing" because of this statement:My marriage means just a little bit more....
Naturally I couldn't ignore her remarks because I would a) be failing my gay friends if I let that sit on my Facebook page without a response and b) the H8er's need to know their friends don't agree with them. I think if we call our relatives, friends and aquaintances to the carpet on this issue, respectfully, maybe it becomes less scary or it maybe it neutralizes their feelings.
I'm writing because I want some advice on persuasive techniques and because my friend made a few arguments that I find baffling.
What I found interesting was that T. (the old friend) was making essentially religious arguments without directly referencing the Bible or G*d. My assumption here is that the SCOI decision was based on equal protection under the law. Smart conservatives know that religious arguments don't have a lot of legal standing. In fact, I'm not sure that religious arguments have popular appeal in most states anymore.
Also, our friend is a teabagger and is claiming that this is goverment interfering with democracy, with our lives, etc. I actually thought that this is a more interesting argument than the religious argument. I get that they want to vote on the issue, but my response is always, "Yeah - and Arkansas probably wanted to vote on the desegregation of schools when Eisenhower brought in the National Guard, but who looks like the a$$holes now!"
I can usually counter the religious arguments - there's lots of stuff in the Bible we don't follow anymore, etc.
Here are the things I need help with:
- "This is a conspiracy: Gay people and the liberals have some hidden agenda." I don't even understand the argument. What hidden agenda? How do you know about this hidden agenda and I live in San Francisco and I've never heard of it. Okay, so these are the people who are probably still insisting the President Obama is secret Muslim and not born in Hawaii. How do you counter this silliness?
- "This is the government interfering in our lives." Huh? Isn't the government getting out of our lives? Increased liberty?
- But they have plenty of ways to celebrate their unions!" Our friend Chris shot holes in this one stating that it's not about "celebrating" it's about the 1300 + rights that married couples have that he and his partner do not have.
Mr. Corkgirl is good with the sarcastic comeback, "Hey, that water fountain is just as good as the one we're using, why are they so uppity about it?" or "Corkgirl, I'm canceling our marriage. If gay men and women can get married, it totally devalues our union. Thanks, gay people! Sheesh!"
The danger with sarcasm (though my husband did make me laugh) is that making people feel stupid doesn't bring them over to our side. They just dig in. So, how do we talk to our friends and neighbors about this without alienating them?
Please make suggestions.