This is a revision, the earlier version found to be potentially offensive to netsurfing Amish. A Quaker convinced me of this. I'm absolutely delighted with the overall American-ness of an online argument with a Quaker. Here in Colorado, offending the Amish does not come up very often, but I see how things would be a lot more sensitive in Pennsylvania. The point is this: Secession is strategically assinine. Having abandoned nearly all of my "Amish Security in the 21st Century" allegory, I'm keeping the statement:
Dry drunk cowboy tough talk from Tx Gov. Rick Perry; Ak Gov. Sarah Palin's husband, Todd; hack pundit Glenn Beck; and peacetime Chair Force veteran and Hollywood poseur Carlos "Chuck" Norris offers Texas, Alaska, the greater United States of America as a whole, Canada, Mexico and our various Carribean allies no greater security than the Amish would technological expertise to the internet.
For all the secessionist talk of Texas and Alaska, neither one of these mighty states could withstand Russian or Chinese belligerence on their own, period. Dry drunk cowboy tough talk from Tx Gov. Rick Perry; Ak Gov. Sarah Palin's husband, Todd; hack pundit Glenn Beck; and peacetime Chair Force veteran and Hollywood poseur Carlos "Chuck" Norris offers Texas, Alaska, the greater United States of America as a whole, Canada, Mexico and our various Carribean allies no greater security than the Amish would technological expertise to the internet. Secessionist talk as a childish threat of ultimatum following defeat in an election isn't just selfish, it's kicked-in-the-head-by-a-mule stupid, and outrageously short sighted. Furthermore, by talking civil war in a time of economic turmoil, the secessionists are encouraging our less than friendly global rivals by making us look weak.
I see it as nothing short of treason.
As a moderately liberal Iraqi Freedom veteran, I see Texan Gov. Rick Perry; Gov. Sarah Palin's allegedly extremely over-priveledged with confidential State information husband, Todd; wannabe dictator Glenn Beck (Seriously, 9 virtues, 12 principles? That's like something Chairman Mao would come up with); and Carlos "Chuck" Norris as traitors of, considering the office of the first two named, vastly greater significance than Jane Fonda during Vietnam. If I had the opportunity, I would spit in all four of their greedy, idiot faces right now.
Having seen actual combat, I'm really not all that impressed with "Chuck" Norris. If he were really that tough, he would have re-upped for Vietnam, instead of impersonating a soldier later on in "Delta Force."