Good evening! Every night, Top Comments rounds up some of the site's best, funniest, most mojo'd and most informative commentary. We'd like your help with talent spotting. If you see a comment that deserves recognition, please send it to topcomments over at gmail dot com by 9:30 p.m., Eastern. Please include a few words about why you sent it in as well as your user name, so we can credit you with the find.
In trying to wean myself off soda and coffee, I've started drinking tea. Because, as Trout Fishing in America sings,
"All I want is a proper cup of coffee, made in a proper copper coffee pot,
I may be off my dot, but I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot.
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me!
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot,
I'll have a cup of tea!"
This is probably not the most propitious time for that admission, but it's still true. Tea and honey...mmmm. But somehow--lacking.
Then I came across these instructions, from Douglas Adams's "The Salmon of Doubt," for making a proper cup of tea:
One or two Americans have asked me why it is that the English like tea so much, which never seems to them to be a very good drink. To understand, you have to know how to make it properly.
[snip]
Go to Marks and Spencer and buy a packet of Earl Grey tea. Go back to where you're staying and boil a kettle of water. While it is coming to the boil, open the sealed packet and sniff. Careful - you may feel a bit dizzy, but this is in fact perfectly legal. When the kettle has boiled, pour a little of it into a tea pot, swirl it around and tip it out again. Put a couple (or three, depending on the size of the pot) of tea bags into the pot (If I was really trying to lead you into the paths of righteousness I would tell you to use free leaves rather than bags, but let's just take this in easy stages). Bring the kettle back up to the boil, and then pour the boiling water as quickly as you can into the pot. Let it stand for two or three minutes, and then pour it into a cup. Some people will tell you that you shouldn't have milk with Earl Grey, just a slice of lemon. Screw them. I like it with milk. If you think you will like it with milk then it's probably best to put some milk into the bottom of the cup before you pour in the tea.* If you pour milk into a cup of hot tea you will scald the milk. If you think you will prefer it with a slice of lemon then, well, add a slice of lemon.
Drink it. After a few moments you will begin to think that the place you've come to isn't maybe quite so strange and crazy after all.
* This is socially incorrect. The socially correct way of pouring tea is to put the milk in after the tea. Social correctness has traditionally had nothing whatever to do with reason, logic or physics. In fact, in England it is generally considered socially incorrect to know stuff or think about things. It's worth bearing this in mind when visiting.
I raise my cup to the late, great author in thanks.
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The Top Comments inbox was humming today thanks to these fine folks:
Thank you, Texas Revolutionary, for sending this: "I would like to nominate this entire thread in The Daily Show/Colbert Report open thread . It started off weird and only got stranger from there. Then ericlewis0 came along with a killer.
rb137 wrote "In chacounne's loving diary about her husband Dan, llbear expressed his way of understanding that there is suffering on all sides."
From Elise comes this: "Wee Mama's rec-listed bee diary produced some hilarious comment threads, including this thread, started off by mem from somerville, and this one, started off by Sam Wise Gingy."
pfiore8 writes "Hi guys . . . Latex Solar Beef correctly labeled Wisper's comment in my diary today as a "top comment." I asked him/her to send it in. In case he/she doesn't, here it is: Wisper recounts a funny story about buying a t-shirt in pfiore8's kind of blue . . . btw, i just love that screen name, Latex Solar Beef. cracks me up!"
From Angry Mouse: "Great tongue twister of a comment."
I liked Permanent Republican Minority's informative comment about nomadic beekeeping.
And it's carolita, FTW, with tonight's Top Mojo:
Top Mojo excluding search-identifiable tip jars, first diary comments, and C&J comments:
1 - Mojo Friday Wants You.....TexDem.....156
2 - CC is Watching.....TexDem.....146
3 - Last I checked.....heart of a quince.....144
4 - Thanks for Stopping by.....TexDem.....143
5 - Heh.....TexDem.....141
6 - Can't stay and play......blue jersey mom.....139
7 - Hi Owl.....blue jersey mom.....138
8 - Morning DM!.....Hedwig.....137
9 - If it's Friday.....MKinTN.....137
10 - Morning Everyone!.....donnamarie.....133
11 - Bummer.....Hedwig.....132
12 - You've discovered the REAL American Pastime.....Swampfoot.....126
13 - Howdy.....Hedwig.....120
14 - Hi BJM.....donnamarie.....119
15 - Howdy BJM!.....Hedwig.....117
16 - Mojo to all........curtisgrahamduff.....117
17 - Hi dm.....blue jersey mom.....116
18 - I have a favor to ask of you.....TexDem.....114
19 - Morning MFers!!! Can we 'accept' that 'tebagging'.....Hedwig.....114
20 - Hi Thurston! TeeHee!!.....donnamarie.....114
21 - I bet someone that Dow would bottom.....cityvitalsigns.....113
22 - Okay so who is that woman.....donnamarie.....113
23 - Hey, Mary Ann!.....Hedwig.....113
24 - Busy. this is a tough tme of year for.....blue jersey mom.....113
25 - The Lounge is Open.....TexDem.....112
26 - Yeah for 6500!.....cityvitalsigns.....112
27 - Morning TD!!!.....Hedwig.....111
28 - Thank you curtisgrahamduff!.....magicsister.....110
29 - Good morning!.....Floja Roja.....110
30 - I'm worn out.....TexDem.....110
Top Mojo with No Exclusions:
1 - Tip Jar.....JR Monsterfodder.....583
2 - Merry spring, all!.....Wee Mama.....554
3 - Tips?.....pale cold.....514
4 - Tip Jar.....Muzikal203.....462
5 - Well, that was odd.....droogie6655321.....402
6 - Tip Jar: Apologies to the World.....Jesselyn Radack.....331
7 - Tip Jar for YOU.....WineRev.....325
8 - Tip jar.....Brandon Friedman.....246
9 - Tips for.....TomP.....194
10 - Yep. Still proud to be a Hillbot......Angry Mouse.....183
11 - Mojo Mug.....TexDem.....181
12 - Tips and reqs for a GOP Mental Health Initiative.....Ken in Tex.....179
13 - Mojo Friday Wants You.....TexDem.....156
14 - Flabbergasted.....Hudson.....152
15 - President Obama.....noweasels.....150
16 - CC is Watching.....TexDem.....146
17 - Last I checked.....heart of a quince.....144
18 - Thanks for Stopping by.....TexDem.....143
19 - Heh.....TexDem.....141
20 - Can't stay and play......blue jersey mom.....139
21 - Hi Owl.....blue jersey mom.....138
22 - If it's Friday.....MKinTN.....137
23 - Morning DM!.....Hedwig.....137
24 - Morning Everyone!.....donnamarie.....133
25 - Bummer.....Hedwig.....132
26 - You've discovered the REAL American Pastime.....Swampfoot.....128
27 - Friday Tip Jar.....Bill in Portland Maine.....126
28 - Howdy.....Hedwig.....120
29 - Hi BJM.....donnamarie.....119
30 - Howdy BJM!.....Hedwig.....117
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Happy Friday night. Grab a mug and stay awhile!