I should be livid. I should be in despair. I should be gnashing my teeth and beating my chest. I should be running around the yard naked scratching at my face bellowing nonsense until I'm horse and my red, angry larynx flies out of my throat onto the road and continues to scream on its own while I make mute signs of insanity and rage. But I'm just kinda sitting here contemplating the warm spring smells coming into my, get this, OPEN WINDOW.
But, I think I've seriously injured myself with all this worry and outrage. Months of it. Like a steroid user who juices on testosterone until his testicles are puny and shriveled, I think I've broken whatever gland secretes fury.
I just can't seem to muster any type of sustained emotional response.
Between economic collapse, torture, and NOW the swine flu and people telling me "I think you should stop sending your kids to school, there's a health emergency on" I think I'm just going to sit here on the front stoop and drink a 40.
I'll home school my kids.
"Kids, now listen up
- Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you.
- Wash your hands. A lot.
- Don't cause a global economic meltdown. I can't stress this enough.
Now go around the house measuring things with this tape measure for an hour and we'll call it a day. Your teacher-daddy is going outside to drink."
We'll stock up on MREs.
I'll tear up the lawn and plant potatoes.
I'll fill the rest of the yard with firewood.
I'll buy me a pea shooter. A real big one for gittin' me some varmints to eat and rendering their fat to make me some gloppy anti-swine-flu soap.
...or I would do these things if I was even remotely motivated.
Which I'm not.
I take that back. There is one thing I'd like to see...
The news has had a weird, spectral air to it. The Republicans are simultaneously marginalized and given equal fucking air time at all. That's got me a little motivated. Irritated.
Usually I want to think the best of people. Live and let live. And normally I tend to think of the Republican party as a buncha folks with a different philosophy. But lately I've come to feel it's not so much a DIFFERENT philosophy as it is a FUCKED UP philosophy.
I know it. I know. I'm a slow learner. Ask my 3rd grade teacher who loved cats and hated my penmanship. She'll tell you the same thing.
Lately, I just want to see the Republican Party's backs broken. I want them to go the hell away. With my newfound apathy comes a deep disinterest in rationalizing or defending those I disagree with for the sake of trying to be fair. Lately the Republian party has been, at best, nauseating. Irritating. I want to see them demolished once and for all and their crazed adherents scattered to the winds. Whatever positive aspects I projected on the Republican party, like a love of self reliance and personal responsibility, has nothing to do with this party.
We need more Dems in office. Much, much more. We may not all agree. We may not be able to team up to cast a unanimous ZERO vote for somebody's proposal. But at least we stand for something higher than our party.