The RNC is going to meet especially to rename the Democratic Party the "Democrat Socialist Party."
Well, I'm not a member of the DNC, but I can't let this stand. I think that we should all agree to start calling the Republican Party "Mildred."
(Apologies to anyone who is actually named Mildred. Your name will be used in a good cause.)
Remember never to use pronouns when referring back to Mildred; always just say Mildred again for maximum effect. Also, every Republican entity should just become Mildred, not the unnecessarily confusing "College Mildreds" or "Grand Old Mildred." Examples of how this would work after the jump:
WRONG: The Republican Party today issued a statement today strongly condemning Lindsay Lohan. I think those guys need to get a life.
RIGHT: Mildred today issued a statement strongly condemning Lindsay Lohan. I think Mildred needs to get a life.
WRONG: The RNC keeps calling and asking my uncle for money. Don't they know he got fed up with them and now sews custom gay marriage tuxedos for a living?
RIGHT: Mildred keeps calling and asking my uncle for money. Doesn't Mildred know that he got fed up with Mildred and now sews custom gay marriage tuxedos for a living?
WRONG: No Billy, you can't use my basement for a College Republicans meeting. It took me too long to get the Cheetos stains out last time.
RIGHT: No Billy, you can't use my basement for Mildred. It took me too long to get the Cheetos stains out last time.
See? It's easy. It's immature, yes, but not as immature as calling people commies just because you got trounced in the last two elections.