“If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters.”--Alan K. Simpson.
“Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not.”--Oprah
Okay, so this pair of quotes comes from a really odd couple: the former Republican Senator from Wyoming and The Oprah. Both insights are spot on, however.
So why does it seem that today are there so few people living with integrity anymore? In the public arena of politics and business, we've experienced a veritable Roman orgy of people shedding their integrity over the past eight years. In Washington and on Wall Street, we're down to a few tattered fishnets of honesty and crotchless panties of decency. Maybe less.
But why does this seem to be happening in the arena of personal behavior as well? Perhaps I'm generalizing from some terrible experiences I've endured. Over the years, I've learned to be as stingy with my trust as the unreconstructed Ebeneezer Scrooge. This can result in terrible loneliness, however, if you don't take a risk and let anyone into your life.
So I did. And now it seems that this carefully vetted person has not only let me down, but demonstrated an epic integrity fail to those I love as well. Official diagnosis: selfish dick moves. Me first. Other people? Meh...not so important. Used 'em, now I'm done...next!
My question: Has something evolved in our culture that makes this okay? That makes treating others without integrity the rule, rather than the exception?
Living without integrity is inconceivable to me. It would eat my soul away from the inside. Maybe it's because I am a really crappy liar. I have no acting ability at all, and my Swiss-Cheese memory means that if I start fibbing, I can't keep my stories straight.
But maybe it is something a little nobler than that. Raised in Hawaii, we were taught that family and friends come first. Your value comes from how well you treat people, not how successful you are financially or professionally. When I was a kid, a lot of celebrities enjoyed having second homes in Hawaii because we kama'ainas left them alone. We simply didn't care about their status as "rich and famous" people. Were they nice? Did they treat their neighbors well? That's what mattered to us.
Words matter, too. Promises matter. One of the most disturbing things to me over the past eight years has been the systematic and deliberate twisting of language. Sickening euphemisms: calling expanded pollution bills "clean" air and water legislation. Destroying education under the hearts-and-flowers moniker "No Child Left Behind." And the biggest lie of all, a President pledging repeatedly, "We do not torture." When Torquemada was smiling from his chef's table in Hell's kitchen, saying, "Well done!"
Is there a connection? Fish rotting from the head, and all that? Greater license for personal douchebaggery when political integrity has dissolved into La Brea Tar Pits-worthy primordial goo?
I don't know. I don't want to give up on my fellow man. I don't want to close myself off to ever being able to trust. In my heart, I still share this core belief with Albert Einstein:
“Only a life lived for others is worth living."
Sadly, in this integrity-deficient world, I'm afraid this puts a giant red X on my forehead that says: Take advantage of me.
Thanks, my fellow Kossacks, for indulging me in yet another WATB-fest. Life has been a little suck-tastic of late.
Thoughts?
UPDATE: Your support moves me deeply, my Great Orange friends. I have to share a terrific comment from highfive:
Integrity: It's a lot like Education. It might not get you anything, but nobody can take it away from you.
Amen to that!