A recent article in the New Yorker addresses the use of what they call ``cognitive enhancers" on college campuses and among professionals.
Adderall, a stimulant composed of mixed amphetamine salts, is commonly prescribed for children and adults who have been given a diagnosis of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. But in recent years Adderall and Ritalin, another stimulant, have been adopted as cognitive enhancers: drugs that high-functioning, overcommitted people take to become higher-functioning and more overcommitted.
http://
As a student at both a challenging liberal arts school and a graduate of a highly competitive physics phd program, its no surprise to me that many people in these environments take stimulants. I've taken them myself, for years. Use is apparently pervasive throughout the scientific community:
Last April, the scientific journal Nature published the results of an informal online poll asking whether readers attempted to sharpen "their focus, concentration, or memory" by taking drugs such as Ritalin and Provigil—a newer kind of stimulant, known generically as modafinil, which was developed to treat narcolepsy. One out of five respondents said that they did. A majority of the fourteen hundred readers who responded said that healthy adults should be permitted to take brain boosters for nonmedical reasons, and sixty-nine per cent said that mild side effects were an acceptable risk.
While the article does explore some potential downsides of taking stimulants, including side effects and the fairness of using "steroids for the brain" in competitive arenas, they significantly downplay the addictive aspect of these drugs, and don't even address the catastrophe that can occur when you run out.
After my husband and I finally went for help, we learned that Adderall has a similar effect on the dopamine cascade as cocaine, albeit through different mechanisms. We learned that treatment centers see people addicted to adderall all the time, and that these people are often students, professionals, and people with new babies. But when I got a legitimate prescription for Adderall and shared some with my husband several years ago, I had no idea what the risks were.
Here's our story:
When I started taking adderall, I thought of it as a miracle drug, not because it caused a "brain boost" but because it had a paradoxical calming effect. Adderall soothed much of the negative chatter I had in my head, in a way that nothing else had. I became a more reasonable person. Eventually I discovered the advantages of taking more than my prescribed dose if I had a paper to get done or a conference to attend or needed to get up early. I learned to live with the sometimes devastating crash that came several hours after taking the medicine. I also noticed that I was running out of my medicine much sooner than I should have.
It became a constant conflict between my husband and myself. He had taken some of the adderall and hadn't told me about it, and suddenly I didn't have any. It even got to the point where I threatened separation, but it just got worse. I was honestly baffled as to why my normally uber-considerate, gentle, loving, smart husband was behaving this way. All of my attempts to secure or hide the adderall were no match compared to his drive to get some. We had these arguments for four years before it finally dawned on me that he was addicted. One of the reasons it was so hard for me to recognize was because I had always thought of adderall as a pretty harmless drug.
Because he was so dependent on the adderall, when we inevitably ran out it caused chaos. Without adderall he couldn't stay awake for more than a few hours a day, he couldn't work, he got severely depressed, he would dream about getting some adderall. I didn't realize until much later how much he suffered without it, and how hard he was trying to stop. The inconsistency in his work habits became a real problem for his studies and his later job. It eventually got to the point where it seemed like I had to give him adderall or risk him getting let go.
We finally took the step of going to a renowned treatment center in the area. Sessions were $200 a week and we had to pay in advance, although our insurance would later reimburse us for some of it. Luckily we could sort of afford it. We only started making real progress once I made the decision to stop taking adderall myself, and worked out an alternative treatment with my own doctor. The doctor at the treatment center worked out ways to treat his underlying depression and anxiety without stimulants, and the psychologist helped him develop good working habits in the absence of adderall.
Now the difference is like night and day - we no longer have a constant painful conflict, my husband has gotten back on a steady sleep schedule and is at a less demanding but more interesting job, I don't have to put up with those awful crashes, and my mood is more even because I'm not constantly running out of my medicine. Things are so much better, but its been a long, painful, and expensive journey. And he still dreams about adderall sometimes.
I just wanted to let people know that what the New Yorker article calls ``cognitive enhancers" can also be called, for some people, ``life ruiners" - and you won't know which one they'll be ahead of time. It's not a sign of weakness to get dependent on stimulants - they can be very addictive and there is a lot of pressure to use them. But help does really help.
UPDATE: The point of this diary is not to demonize adderall. People who need it taking prescribed doses really get helped by it, and I was one of those people myself. My concern is over the attitudes expressed in the article, including that its a riskfree choice to take it long term just for performance-enhancement. My experience, with my husband, and others I know who have a problem with it, is that when people take more than they need - either healthy people taking any or people with ADD taking too much - that's when the dependence issue comes in.