About three weeks ago, long before the DKos Smokeout date was decided, before I knew that Bill's wonderful Michael was going to celebrate a year, I chose June 15 2009 as my quit date. Due to my work schedule, the fact that I am using NRT (patches) and when I lay this weary head on my pillow my last cigarette was at 3am 6/15/2009. My second daughter's third birthday gift to her and my early Father's Day gift to me. The significance of Father's Day, addiction and me, how my day went and my plan for the next 8-10 weeks, after the jump.
IFirst I should say I am an alcoholic and an addict, at least an addict even beyond nicotine and caffeine. My primary addiction after alcohol was to crack cocaine. Through putting one day at a time, I am currently two days shy of 14 years clean and sober, Father's Day 19995, June 18. In honesty my last drink or pipe was about 30 days prior, but Father's Day was the day I decided I wanted to live a sober life.
My father was also an alcoholic and an addict and at that time was also a Certified Chemical Dependency Counselor, with about 15 years. He got me into a good program that got me onto my feet, he then relapsed himself (about two years into my recovery) and dusted himself off and got sober again and in 2005 he died sober, but from smoking related emphysema, nicotine being the one drug he could not get out from under.
I quit with both NRT and Wellbutrin at that time for about two months then made the one mistake that we tell all newcomers not to make regarding alchol in the fellowship, I started thinking about the rest of my life without cigarettes rather than one day's victory over nicotine and I started again, in 25 years it was the longest I had gone without a cigarette.
Last year, my oldest daughter started Tae Kwon Do, I got dragged onto the mat and fell in love with it. Those of you that know the art and the aerobic nature of the workout may certainly understand that I have been hurting bad after workouts, that added to wanting to enjoy grandchildren, which my own father never got to domade me decide that I was done, my employer offering now to provide NRT at no cost added to that decision and here I am.
Today I did fairly well, no intense moments of "AAAAAARRRRGGGHHH" but then I am prepared this time, at work I have approximately 12 pounds of 4 different kinds of candy (licorice, jelly beans, fruit chews and chocolate taffy type rolls; no brand names but you could guess ;-D)
I know every day will not be as good as today, but I only have to do it today.
Here's hoping all others doing this will be successful. Let's show Big Tobacco we do not need their cancer anymore!
Peace, Love and Fresh Air wishes to all.