The right-wing libertarisphere has been a'buzzin' today with a new discovery: A mild-mannered economist named Paul is actually a dastardly supervillain named "Captain Bubble"! They've spent just oodles and oodles of time detailing this evil supervillain's crimes. But little do they know the true story of Captain Bubble vs. the Legion of Central Bankers. Here I am to enlighten you, ladies and gents: The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!
It started late yesterday evening. There's a bunch of us who are writers and graphic artists and otherwise creative folks who meet there on Tuesday evenings because it's quiet and no nasty people there to laugh at us comic book nerds, and there it was that I met "Stan":
[Stan] Hey, Penguin! Guess what? I sold my latest comic book!
[Me] Oh get outta here. Which one was that?
[Stan] It was the alternate universe one, "Captain Bubble vs. the Legion of Central Bankers."
[Me] ... I don't think I'm familiar with that one. What's it about?
[Stan] Okay. First, there's Captain Bubble. He's the villain, and his secret identity is as a mild-mannered economist named Paul.
[Me] Paul? Your supervillain is named... Paul?!
[Stan] But I gave him a German last name, okay? Krugman! Heil! He has, like, a monocle and stuff! And anyhow, his evil plot is opposed by the Legion of Central Bankers, which is Alan and Ben. Uhm, Captain Oracle and Captain Helicopter. And there's also this secret society called the Austrians, they're not evil or anything, but they hope both Captain Bubble and the Legion of Central Bankers fail.
[Me] A lot of Captains there. Okay, so this is a superhero alternate universe comic. So what's Captain Oracle's secret power?
[Stan] He's an Oracle. He makes announcements and they come true!
[Me] That's it? He makes announcements?
[Stan] Well, he also sets interest rates, but that's kinda boring.
[Me] Okay. What about Captain Helicopter?
[Stan] He... (looks embarassed). He flies a helicopter.
[Me] That's it? He flies a helicopter? What kind of superpower is that?
[Stan] And he drops money out of the back of it! Money he creates out of thin air! That's a superpower, isn't it?
[Me] I'm not getting a good feeling about this story. So okay, what about Captain Bubble? What's his secret power?
[Stan] He... creates bubbles.
[Me] Excuse me?
[Stan] You heard me, he creates bubbles!
[Me] Uhm, okay, but so does my five year old girl.
[Stan] But not like this! See, Captain Bubble's super power is mind control! In my comic book, he controls the mind of Captain Oracle and forces Captain Oracle to... to... lower interest rates! And thus creates a housing bubble.
[Me] Mind control ... interest rates ... Dude. Nobody's going to want to read something so boring. Interest rates? How does this mind control thing work anyhow? Does he have, like, a mind control ray gun or something?
[Stan] Oh no. He has a column in the New York Times.
[Me] A... column in the New York Times. And ... uhm ... how does that work, exactly?
[Stan] Well, see, he encrypts secret mind control instructions that, get this, only the Legion of Central Bankers and the Austrians can see! Here, look at this example of one of his columns. Mere mortals like you and I just see a grumpy economist observing that Captain Oracle has no good options to improve the economy, but both the Legion of Central Bankers and the Austrians see the real message -- the secret mind control instructions that say decrease interest rates and cause a housing bubble! And only the intervention of Helicopter Ben several years later breaks Oracle Alan out of his fugue and returns things to normal.
[Me] What about the Austrians?
[Stan] They just sit on the sidelines and throw rotten fruit at both sides.
[Me] That's it? That's the plot? The whole thing?
[Stan] Pretty much, yeah.
[Me] Dude, that comic book sucks big time. Nobody would ever buy that. I mean, even bad science fiction has to have at least some plausibility. Like, how come nobody else can see these secret mind control instructions in Captain Bubble's editorials? Get outta here!
[Stan] But I already sold it!
[Me] Yeah? What kinda moron woulda bought somethin' like that?
[Stan] It was an outfit called The Mises Institute.
[Me] The Mises Institute?
[Stan] Yeah! And... hey. Get this. They think it is real!
[Me] Dude!
And now you know the TRUE story :-).
-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin