My first memory of Republicans is during the days of Watergate when the minute Chuck Colson, Jeb Magruder, Haldeman and Erlichman got caught doing something wrong they suddenly found Jesus. And nothing has changed. So isn't it about time the Republican Party ante up and buy a GOP GPS so they won't keep lose poor Jesus all the time?
Seriously, who doubts that after exhausting all the lame excuses he's run through so far, like he was "separated" four months of his year long affair (BTW while coveting his neighbor's wife ), that Senator John Ensign (R-Promise Keepers) didn't tell his GOP buddies today that he's suddenly found Jesus again?
David Vitter (R-Red Light District) found Jesus after first discovering hookers, just like Jimmy Swaggart.
Poor Larry Craig ( R-Porta-John) went looking for Jesus in an airport men's room but all that toe-tapping ( obviously a type of Biblical Morse Code)landed him was a Minnesota vice cop.
Then there's the story of Rush Limbaugh's pilgrimage that led him first to rehab and then to the Dominican Republic where using Viagra as bait he must have found salvation as he was overheard by hotel housekeepers yelling "Oh Jesus " repeatedly.
Mark Foley (R-Boys Town) turned the page and found Jesus, and Lindsey Graham (R-McCain's Coat Tails) keeps looking for Jesus in the closet.
Newt Gingrich converted to Catholicism to clean the slate by finding a new Jesus and losing those two other wives and his serial adultery in the process.
Sure, Democrats sin,too, but when have you heard Bill Clinton or Elliott Spitzer or John Edwards blubbering before the public that its all because Jesus went missing?
I have a funny feeling when the truth finally comes out, we will learn that Governor Mark Sanford (R-Milk Carton) wasn't just communing with nature on Hike Naked Day, he was out searching for Jesus--perhaps in his birthday suit.