I was raised by an incredible mother. My mom is an active Mormon, mother of 8, grandmother of 5, stayed at home instead of working, never said an abusive thing to me in my life, never once made the sort of major errors that every normal mother does, those errors we have a hard time forgiving as a teenager and quickly get over a few years later.
She didn't make those mistakes.
My mom is open minded, laid back, smart, absolutely genuinely kind, and leads a group of people in the area who get together to practice a cognitive therapy called "Recovery" (started by Dr. Abraham Low)
My mom in not manipulative, she never once put me on a guilt trip as a teenager. You think I'm lying. I'm not. My mother washed my mouth out with soap when I said "shut up" or "suck," but she hated doing it. She taught me it wasn't ok to call people "idiots" or even "stupid." And my family of 10, we get along fantastically, even though half of us are super conservative Mormons and the other half (led by my older sister and I) are on the spectrum from new-age hippy to militant atheist.
And my mom, she told me yesterday, doesn't feel OK about thinking that she personally aught to have a right to health care. Why?
She's hardly political. But she's a republican voter, no doubt, as is my father, who has always been in the upper tax brackets as a successful small business owner.
Well, as some of you read about, my wife (22 years old, I'm 23) got bit by a spider, and turned away from an instacare because she couldn't pay the upfront sum of 120 to see the doc. My mother heard my talking to my wife about this on the phone, when my wife informed me about this frustrating occurance (I was at my parents house, see my other diary for more if you are really curious as to how the spider thing played out).
Well, I showed my mother the awesome Haarm.org video about Fire Care, and explained to her what had happened to my wife.
My mother cares a lot about my wife. My wife has asperger's syndrome, was raised by extremely, absurdly abusive parents, and is an atheist like me. My mom knows we are both atheists, and as a conservative mormon, I'd say she's somewhat an anomaly in her ability to accept us and love us anyway.
My mom always cries about the crappy things my wife deals with, and has a lot of genuine caring for her.
So, my mom says nothing super republican talking-pointy that day, when I show her the fire care video. She laughs, and says it's funny, and it makes sense.
The next morning my mom calls when I'm on my way to work and says she wanted to tell me this: "As much as I wish [your wife] could get the care she needs for the spider bite and everything, I can't justify thinking the government has the responsibility to take care of our health issues. Emotionally, I do feel like [wife] aught to have a "right" to that, aught to have a "right" to health care. But then I realize that when I think of myself, I don't think I should have a right to health care."
To summarize, because it's hard to catch all the meaning in text, my mom is expressing that she doesn't think she aught to expect the government, or other people's tax dollars, to take care of her health if she were in need of that. She does think it's fine if it takes care of her daughter in law, because she loves her and thinks thats a good thing. But she feels unjustified in expecting it for herself.
I think this is just absolutely fascinating. My mom was even dropped off a private insurance roll a couple of years ago, so she's experienced "the free market." I said, "Mom, you and dad have contributed hundreds of thousands of dollars in taxes to this country. You've raised 8 kids who will all contribute, 8 kids who have and will all go to college, who have all, so far, received degrees, on scholarships, with high GPAs, some of whom are pursuing graduate education, all of whom are healthy emotionally, all of whom help others. If anyone deserves their health care to be guaranteed, it's you."
But I think it illustrates a major problem in some conservative's thinking. How do we overcome such commitment to this ideal of rejecting government help? My mother is in a new situation as my dad has lost his business and started a new one. His income year to date is probably 2,000 dollars. He has a lot of savings, and zero debt, so they are OK. But still, they persist in a very honest and very sincere belief about the role of government that I think is somewhat self-defeating.
Is this a pride issue?
I don't know what it is.
I suspect it has much to do with religious belief, in my parents' case. They think that the mormon church is a better thing to rely on, and the mormon church will help its members. My mom said, "If the government ran things lik the mormon church and was out of debt, it would make more sense to intrust them with our health care." I took a jab. I said, "You mean, if they took 10% of everyone's money and didn't give anything back?"
Anyway, I'm rambling. I hope a few people read this. I always post in the middle of my night. All you Europeans, eat your heart out. I need to move there anyway.