Watch as the author goes down the rabbit hole to visit with and mock the loony, jabbering queen of the idiots and bear witness to her latest frothing-at-the-mouth, only to get turned upside down upon finding the latest braying of congresswoman jackass may actually be ... right?
Why the latest manifestation of the Minnesota Congresswoman's well-documented mental illness -- this time it's the United States Census -- raises an important point:
Congresswoman Bachmann's (R-MN) time as a United States Representative has, if nothing else, reaffirmed the notion that in America, truly anybody can grow up to be -- at the very least -- a member of that rag-tag gang of 435 we call our Congress. Even wild-eyed, ill-informed, anti-intellectual fundamentalist can find a home somewhere in that wilderness. Not all congressional districts are created equal.
And so it came to pass that the good people of Minnesota's 6th District deposited Michelle Bachmann on our nation's front lawn like a tight, neatly-coiled dog turd -- a retro-red-scare blast to the past, to give all us young kids a taste of that McCarthyism we missed out on.
Among Rep. Bachmann's greatest hits: abolish the minimum wage, evolution's a hoax, gay marriage as Pearl Harbor, the secret deal between Iraq and Iran to create a terrorist "safe haven zone," anti-"save the planet" because Jesus saved the planet 2,000 years ago,, and, most recently, the afore-cited drive against the United States Census.
So I was naturally delighted to see the headline in today's HuffingtonPost, "Bachmann Defies Critics, Introduces Anti-Census Bill."
It was clear from the comments accompanying the story that the readers had already gotten ahead of me
She is a hack. She is a character witness of why the repugs are in such bad shape. What a basket case.
Michelle Bachmann must have some incredibly fascinating discussions and debates.....with the voices in her head. Perhaps she should run for President....of the Tin Foil Hat Society.
Sad that most of the patients are the ones in charge of the asylum!
When will someone FINALLY stand up and say. "Michelle - YOU are an idiot. Now sit down and shut up"
If Bachmann has real concerns about the protection of personal information, I would submit that her primary concern would be the possible publication of her I.Q.
My intended point would be far more simple: "Hey whack-job. Take a minute and read the Constitution; like, the part that mandates the taking of a census. Then scoot on over and read Article VI, which requires members of Congress to support this very same Constitution, and recall for a minute that oath you took upon joining Congress - you know, that part where you swear to 'support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign or domestic; that [you] will bear true faith and allegiance to the same.' Maybe you'd be better doing something else, like running carnival games at the county fair?"
As I sharpened my poison pen I briefly double-checked my sources for accuracy.
Here's U.S., Constitution, Art. I, Sec. 2:
Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons. The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Representatives shall not exceed one for every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the State of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse [sic] three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode-Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New-York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolina five, South Carolina five, and Georgia three.
In case you missed it, the key words which provide the entire basis for the U.S. census:
The actual Enumeration shall be made . . . within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as [congress] shall by Law direct.
That's it. The whole shebang. Congress is empowered to conduct the "Enumeration" - "to determine the number of; count"
-- every ten years, so as to allow the equal apportionment of Congressional representatives throughout the geographic United States.
Bachmann's new bill seeks to reduce the scope of the census to the basics: name, rank, serial number. The bill would eliminate the collection of a variety of demographic data: income, race, family makeup, etc.
Doubtless, this data serves a valuable purpose -- for example, census data is extensively relied upon for enforcement of the Civil Rights Act, among other uses. But does a noble purpose excuse an unconstitutional exercise of congressional power?
Our inalienable right to privacy as Americans, which underlies everything from our freedom from unreasonable search and seizure to a woman's right to choose, is at root based on the notion that ours is a government of "enumerated powers" -- "we the people" created a federal government that operates within limited parameters as defined specifically in our Constitution.
So Congress is free to allocate tax dollars for, say, an independent demographer to commission a report in aid of the important purposes this information serves. But criminal penalties for refusing to disclose your race to the U.S. government?
We didn't grant Congress that power. End of story: If a citizen of the United States believes his or her race, income, or any other personal information is none of the government's business - that's his or her right under our Constitution. I can no more deny fundamental rights to others than they can deny my own. And as an American, it is my duty to resist any encroachment upon my rights by the government, no matter how insignificant those rights may seem.
And so the whack-job teaches a lesson after all, reminding me that wisdom is found in unexpected places.