Today Sarah Palin will head a new American Third Party...
The Pity Party!!
SLOGAN: You're Not Being Fair!
Recent events have given us hints that this might be coming, where Palin threatened legal action over unscrupulous and unfounded rumors about her retirement. Palin complains incessantly about how she is treated by the "Liberal" media and bloggers. Palin uses Twitter as a way to provide unfiltered access to her daily thought.
But the truth is it is just so darn hard being Governor, having to deal with endless attacks on your family from David Letterman and ... people. Having to fight off ethics violations...I mean alleged ethics violations. It costs a LOT OF MONEY, doncha' know. And then when she decided to resign (NOT QUIT...just stop it you big meanie!) the attacks kept coming. Attacks here, attacks there, attacks everywhere. The anti-real,-American, misogynistic, ugly side of the press and public that won't just leave Sarah alone!
That is why Sarah is launching the Pity Party, and she hopes you will join. Already commitments are pouring in from such people as Bernie Madoff's wife, who can't afford her $45,000 fur coat, anymore. Mark Sanford is still contemplating whether he should join the Pity Party. Do you have any other sugestions for leaders of America's new Pity Party??
All are invited to join the Pity Party, but only if you stand by its platform:
- The media is nothing but a bunch of blood thirsty attack hounds.
- family members, especially children should only be shown in a positive light, that furthers the ambitions of the candidate who insists on using them as a prop.
- New media, website bloggers and such can just suck it!
- Hard questions should not be tolerated.
- Claiming victimization for being a woman is not just accepted, it is expected.
- Proper diction, grammar, spelling and punctuation are not necessary, and in fact, those who tend to focus on those things are just....mean!
Come Join Sarah's Pity Party!
It promises to be the most pitiful political party ever!