Wonders of Creationist Museum
Dear Friend
I visited the Creationist Museum the other day, you know the one in Kentucky that tells what life was like a long time ago, about 6000 years give or take a few, when the world was first created. It was a wonderful display which showed me how how the earth got started.
Did you know that before the Fall of Man dinosaurs were friendly, domesticated beasts? Yup! There was this display depicting a dinosaur with a saddle on it. I thought dinosaurs might have been used to help plow the fields but I forgot, and was reminded, at that time there was no need to work. Everything Adam and Eve needed was given to them for free. Dinosaurs were just for fun. I realized this when I saw depiction of a dinosaur and Adam playing what looked to me like an early form of frisbee.
Imagine having a pet that weighed 30 tons?! But they were tame and friendly and, fortunately, there was never a need for them to defecate. But everything went wrong when Adam ate that apple given to him by the talking snake. You see that apple gave him the knowledge of what is right and wrong. As soon as he had that knowledge all hell broke loose which I guess explains the origin of the saying "Ignorance is Bliss."
There was this great exhibit showing Noah and the ark. As you probably know, God was angry at the world, he didn't figure on them sinning and so decided to flood the earth as punishment. Noah was told to build an ark and on this ark he brought a pair of every single kind of animal to save them from the water. It must've been a really difficult thing to do, gathering them all together, feeding them, not to mention cleaning up after them or stopping them from fighting among themselves. And I'm not sure why he brought aboard such things as fleas, flies, cockroaches and Mexican Chihuahuas which I have never liked because they bark too much. But God has his way and who I to question?
Anyway the whole world was flooded and everything was destroyed. The ark floated around for some time and finally the waters disappeared to someplace or another and they all got off on this mountain somewhere in Iran or Turkey and from there populated the earth once again. I guess that must include kangaroos because how else could kangaroos be around today since there is no evolution. Only people like Adolph Hitler believe in things like evolution. I learned that too. But I wondered how kangaroos could have arrived in Australia without leaving a single fossil anywhere else in the world. I learned that there are just some things which are are called "Divine Mysteries" which are kind of like the ones you see on Law and Order Criminal Intent, only a lot more difficult, and that is probably one of them. It's really a test of your faith put there by God...or Satan... I'm not sure which.
I think you will really learn a lot at this museum and dont listen to those that say that this story is not true. They are agents of Satan, you know, the guy with the horns and a tail and the pitchfork who whispers in your year encouraging you to do bad things like lie or steal or play with yourself.
But I know all these things to be true because God said so. It's in the Bible. And the Bible is the Word of God. It says so, right in the Bible so it must be true.
I hope you visit this museum. I think you'll like it and in fact you may come away as I did...feeling . . what's the word?? Oh ya.. blissful.