Well, last night's Richard Wolffe haiku met with crickets. How 'bout a limerick?! Is it a "dirty" one? You'll have to read for yourself! ;D
Richard Wolffe I'm still really missing.
Don't worry, Countdown, I'm not dissing!
But, that gorgeous smart Brit
with the wonderful wit
his pic on my TV I'd be kissing!
YES, I KNOW HE'S MARRIED WITH KIDS - CHILL! :D But, what else rhymes with " - issing"?
My only "this date in history" item can actually be connected to George Carlin's final HBO special! On this date in 1989, Lyle & Erik Menendez murdered their parents. Listen to what the great Mr. Carlin had to say about them about 3 & a half minutes into this bit (or the whole thing if you need a laugh)!
Let's Countdown.
#5 "Can You Hear Me Now?" AKA "Going It Alone, Together" - President Obama gave 2 different messages to 2 different audiences today about health care reform. He accused the GOP of thinking politics & defeating him personally is more important than meaningful health care reform. But, he praised some "reasonable" GOPers. He’s also still insisting on some efforts toward GOP support. Senator Grassley is demanding a surrender of the public option in exchange of any GOP "negotiation" AT ALL! They’ve been negotiating?! Senator Kennedy sent a letter requesting his Senate seat be filled quickly after he’s gone. OK, I really didn’t need to hear this news today. How ‘bout that imagery from Howard Fineman of President Obama in boxer shorts?! That was actually pretty damn funny. Y’all think President Obama will hear about this? ;D People in the White House are apparently telling President Obama that he must have 60 votes in the Senate. WRONG! Howard also seems to think that President Obama might – JUST MIGHT – sign a health care reform bill without a public option. But, isn’t the House saying that no health care bill without a public option will leave their chambers? Good sparkin’ grief, when the Congress critters return to DC in September, it will be a 3 – ring circus. Jonathan Alter thinks the moral argument in health care reform has been ignored by the White House. Some of Senator Grassley’s shenanigans as of late may involve him looking toward the GOP Iowa primary.
#4 "The Nexus of Politics & Terror" - Tom Ridge, the first Secretary of Homeland Security, is confirming in an upcoming book that he was under pressure to raise the terror threat levels because of politics – not the safety of the American people. He was instructed by then AG Ashcroft & Don Rumsfeld to raise the level the weekend before the 2004 election but did not. Yep, I remember well Keith’s segments. Y’all think anyone who called Keith a traitor will apologize? Nah, I’m not holding my breath for that, either. Here’s John Dean! If Mr. Ridge’s assertions are absolutely positively proven to be true, they are criminal offenses. But, the million dollar question is if this DOJ will actually prosecute! Manipulation of a government agency for political reasons is a criminal offense. John Dean isn’t buying into any morality – saving mea culpa self – defenses from Mr. Ridge. Yea, me, too, neither. He’s just like, and I disagree with Keith about this issue, Scott McClellan. Tom Ridge is no hero for admitting what he’s apparently going to admit. Scott McClellan is no hero for admitting what he admitted to in his book. The TRULY heroic thing would’ve been to cry foul WHEN IT WAS HAPPENING. But, party came first; politics came first.
** A couple of Canadian minor league baseball teams thought they were at a hockey game & started duking it out. There’s going to be tiny TV screen ads in Entertainment Weekly. The Mannity & FAUX Business News got their Baucuss mixed up. Tom DeLay can’t decide if he wants to see President Obama’s gift certificate or his birth certificate. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, if she gets to be Texas’ Governor, wants to create the kind of Texas education system she had; she went to a segregated high school. OOPS! **
#3 "Bloodwater" AKA "Unlicensed to Kill" AKA "Blackwater Wet Work" - The CIA outsourced part of their secret assassination squad to kill AQ members to Blackwater. Well, the ability to gleefully kill Muslims WAS a part of their business strategic plan! Wow, Blackwater may have gotten this gig when senior CIA officials retired & went to work for...guess...wait for it...BLACKWATER. Gee, why am I not surprised to see Jeremy Scahill again? The GWB administration trusted Erik Prince more than elected by we the people members of Congress. I’m seeing a trend here. Fredo was supposed to be the chief law enforcement office OF THE ENTIRE COUNTRY – not GWB’s private attorney. And, Blackwater was the GWB administration’s personal hit squad that didn’t have to answer to Congress. How ‘bout that privatization, everybody?!
WPITW – TurdBlossom is demanding an apology for the slander he claims has been inflicted on him in the Don Siegelman case & the US attorneys being fired because he’s a fine upstanding Norwegian – American? HUH?! "Cornhole" Cornyn is still pushing an Obama enemies list even though his website asks for the same damn information. Congress critter Roy Blunt is fibbing about Canadian & British health care. When he was confronted about his fibbing, he denied it.
#1 "GOP Hypocrisy" AKA "Legal Affairs" - Senator Jon Ensign compared his adultery score card with President Clinton’s adultery score card, and Jonny is proclaiming himself the winner because he did nothing legally wrong. Well, we’re not sure about that yet, Senator Ensign! What about that $90K+ mommy & daddy gave to the family of your mistress? What about hiring their kid to work for your campaign? HUH? And, if Senator Ensign’s playing the "I did nothing legally wrong" card, he just threw fellow GOP Senator & lover boy David "Diaper Boy" Vitter under the bus. "The wheels on the bus go ‘round & {insert bad 70s porn music here}."
*** Keith identified his "sign off" tonight! I don’t know who the person was that Keith mentioned, but the main character in Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse Five also said "and so it goes". ***