There is a pandemic sweeping thru the Republican Party........... – that has become known as the Whine Flu -
So far this pandemic has only infected people with low IQ Scores, typically known as the low information voters; the majority of cases reported have been located on the southern borders and in rural areas. We have been able to confirm through a reliable source that some strange cases Whine Flue have popped up in the state of Texas; what I am hearing right now is that 42% of the population appeared to have been immune while a stunning 40% have been hit extremely hard by this virus.
What we have learned so far and can now report is that Texas is trying to get control of this outbreak. As previously reported a surprising 42% of the population seems to be untouched by this epidemic; The CDC has determined that an early vaccination of the drugs called: education, studying, combined with the cocktail of logical and rational thinking was the main reason why 42% of the populations were resistant to this particular virus. But experts are having difficulties coming up with answers to why this strain has hit the remaining 40% of the populace so hard.
What the experts have discovered so far is that many of those infected with the Whine Flu Virus apparently frequent the nearby saloon known as Orly Taitz; other reports have shown that a bad batch of the vaccine called RNC was administered and proven to be ineffective and dangerous. Even more alarming is that this particular vaccine was recalled on November 4, 2008 and replaced with a new and stronger brand of DNC on January 20, 2009. Let me stress to you, that this is serious folks cannot be understated.
While this outbreak is currently being investigated reports show from 2000 to 2008 several people have complained of feeling brain-dead and slow; At one point in 2004, experts thought that they had come up with a couple of vaccines to stop this virus from spreading; one was known as the Howard Dean Vaccine; there were high hopes for this vaccine because it produced a powerful punch and experts were excited because this could be administered throughout the fifty states but unfortunately it was discovered, that although the Howard Dean Vaccine was extremely powerful, studies would later show through trial testing that this particular vaccine would slowly weaken the longer it stayed in one’s system. Experts decided to focus on the less powerful vaccine known as John Kerry but somehow they could never seem to get this particular vaccine quite right; there were intriguing components located in the sample. Experts we so perplexed on the oddity of this specific vaccine that they eventually came to the conclusion that further research was needed, so on July 2008, the specimen was sent over to the Labatory Company of the Democratic Convention for further research. On July 27, 2004, experts discovered a strange but powerful strain that was taken from the John Kerry sample; the key note was not like anything seen before; the specimen had a subtle lasting power to it, but they needed to make it strong enough where it could be delivered to 50 States but sadly this vaccine wouldn’t be ready for another 3 years, making the deadly drug, RNC, the only vaccine available; many were told of the side-effects of this vaccine but I doubt anyone could have known of the long term damage this vaccine would ultimately cause.
Laboratory research was done on the Wasilla Hillbillies of Alaska. Many of these people have indicated that once the RNC vaccination was taken severe side effects occurred. These side effects include illiteracy, stupidity and many experts noted their cell count would indicate high levels of ignorance. On a few occasions, experts had also reported on rare cases of the incurable and contagious infection known as Rush-Limbaugh, this inoperable disease will leave you bloated, sweating and extremely insecure and lonely; once this happens you will become isolated and paranoid.
The strain of Whine Flu that has infected 40% of the Texas population seems to be so strong it became undoubtedly clear that the CDC would be too overwhelmed to handled an pandemic this large; it has been recommend that the Department of Education look into this, they have shown in past to be better equipped in handling a crisis’s of this magnitude.
Until the Department of Education has an opportunity to look over these cases 40% of population will remain quarantined at the mental institution known as FOX NEWS.