A few years ago, a man named Marshall Rosenberg visited a Palestinian refugee camp. He was going to give a town-hall meeting to see if he could be of any assistance. Of course, when word got out that he was both American, and a Jew, things got ugly.
"Murderer!!! Assassin!!! Child killer!!!" Apparently the tear-gas canisters used recently by the Israelis were proudly stamped "Made In The USA." The entire group was on the edge of tearing him apart.
Amazingly, Marshall was not ruffled. That's because he invented non-violent communication. Instead of shouting, he spoke directly to the man who called him a murderer:
Marshal: Are you angry because you would like my government to use its resources differently?
Man: Damn right I’m angry! You think we need tear gas? We need sewers, not your tear gas! We need housing! We need to have our own country!
Marshal: So you’re furious and would appreciate some support in improving your living conditions and gaining political independence?
Man: Do you know what it’s like to live here for twenty-seven years the way I have with my family—children and all? Have you got the faintest idea what that’s been like for us?
Marshal: Sounds like you’re feeling very desperate and you’re wondering whether I or anybody else can really understand what it’s like to be living under these conditions. Am I hearing you right?
Man: You want to understand? Tell me, do you have children? Do they go to school? Do they have playgrounds? My son is sick! He plays in open sewage! His classroom has no books! Have you seen a school that has no books?
Marshal: I hear how painful it is for you to raise your children here; you’d like me to know that what you want is what all parents want for their children—a good education, opportunity to play and grow in a healthy environment . . .
Man: That’s right, the basics! Human rights—isn’t that what you Americans call it? Why don’t more of you come here and see what kind of human rights you’re bringing here!
Marshal: You’d like more Americans to be aware of the enormity of the suffering here and to look more deeply at the consequences of our political actions?
Back and forth it went... for twenty minutes. Marshall did not agree or disagree; he did not correct the man's factual errors; he made no judgements or evaluations. He simply listened to somebody who was desperate and scared. The man needed to vent his frustrations about a system beyond his control... and he wasn't going to hear anything else until he felt Marshall understood his pain.
After this, there were no more interruptions. Marshall gave his talk, and the entire audience listened. Afterward, the angry man who called him a child-killer invited Marshall to his house for Ramadan dinner.
I strongly encourage you to attend these town hall meetings... but I'd give you one piece of advice: use empathy before education. These "screamers" are scared. They are desperate. They feel somebody not like them is running things, and that means they cannot trust the government. To make matters worse, they are being whipped up by people who are hoping to gain political advantage, and being told that the only hope is to shout down the debate.
The best way to win these people over is by engaging them directly... When they yell, don't connect with what they are saying... try to connect with why they say what they say.
Let's take two possible exchanges... this:
Him: Keep your goddamn government hands off my Medicare!
You: Medicare is already a government run program.
Versus this:
Him: Keep your goddamn government hands off my Medicare!
You: So you're saying you're afraid that health insurance reform will hurt medicare?
Which technique is more likely to gain an extra supporter? Which technique is more likely to make this person see through the lies? Which technique is more likely to make this person realize they are being used?
If you choose to attend town hall meetings, expect some screamers. Don't judge them. Don't insult them. Just engage them with non-violent communication, so they feel less scared and desperate.
Also, read Marshall's books!