As you may have read, NBC and Conan O'Brien have reached an agreement whereby O'Brien will leave the network. Just seven months after having assumed the reins of The Tonight Show, O'Brien has been forced out by typically brain-dead network brass in favor of the ever-hacktastic Jay Leno, who will end his failed 10PM ET experiment and return to his chair and time slot.
First things first, let's credit Conan for having held out for the $12 million in severance pay for his staff. In fact, word is he will be supplementing that himself - which he can now afford to do, as he will pocket a cool $33 million.
Second, let's take a second and flashback to the last time NBC shit the bed late-night-talent-wise. Back in 1993 when the brilliant and venerable Johnny Carson left Tonight, it would have seemed only natural that David Letterman - who was by many accounts Johnny's chosen successor - would take over the franchise. Dave had certainly paid his dues, producing 11 years' worth of outstanding programming for the network.
But by this time, Jay Leno (of Dorito commercial fame) had become the permanent guest host of The Tonight Show, and his benign form of humor had found favor among the NBC elite. After months of hemming and hawing, Dave (with Johnny's counsel) bailed to CBS.
And while Leno regularly bested Letterman in the ratings, it was usually Dave's show that got the Emmy nods and critical acclaim, and it was Dave that we actually kinda cared for.
Does anyone remember Jay's monologue on his first night back after 9/11?
How 'bout Dave's?
Yeah...that's what I thought.
And now, here we are again, with a talented host and crew tossed out by NBC in deference to Jay Leno, and once again NBC's 11:30 time slot will be filled with unobtrusive yuks.
Look, NBC: if Leno needed a new gig this badly, he can have mine. I work at the bookstore, and I like my job. But I'll happily give up my cushy bookstore gig to Jay, and it won't cost you anywhere close to $45 million.
In fact, NBC, I have a deal for you - good for today only: I'll sell my job to you and Jay Leno for $100,000. That's right - just one hundred thousand dollars buys Jay Leno a place to go 30-40 hours a week. And for another $5k, Leno can come over and finish caulking this bathtub.
So whaddya say, NBC? C'mon, this is the deal of the century, and it's only 2010!
(Comedy Central has expressed an interest in Conan's show. And as much as I love Dave, a Stewart/Colbert/O'Brien late night lineup would be two hours of sheer brilliance. Network television is for suckers, anyway. Just ask Bill Maher.)