Glenn Beck recently said...
...It also took a long time to start slavery. And it started small. And it started with seemingly innocent ideas. And then a little court order here and a court order there. And a little more regulation here and a little more regulation there. And before we knew it, America had slavery. It didn’t come over in a ship to begin with as an evil slave trade.
I believe him! I saw the commercials with Kathy Lee Gifford singing, "If my friends could see me now!" And it did start innocently enough. I’ll give you the whole story.
Soon after the colonies were established, it seems some Southern colonies were having trouble harvesting all their crops. Their kids were too busy to help with the crops as they were listening to Cher on their iPods (Yes, they both have been around forever!)
Anyway, they tried to get the grounds crew from the country club to help with the crops. After all, these illegal immigrants from Mexico had manicured the greens to perfection. But one colonial governor objected. I think his name was James Brewer! He didn’t like the idea of all these brown people coming to town. (He did however, think they grew some fine hemp, but that’s another story!) Well, Governor Brewer won the day, and the Mexicans were out.
What to do, what to do? Well, a group of plantation owners, Newsome Gingrich, Tim DeMint and Lindell Graham had a great idea. "Maybe we can convince some guys from Africa to come ‘work’ for us." They figured the Southern plantations were as hot as Africa, so it wouldn’t be much different for them. And Lindell Graham knew his fancy-pants son, Lindley Graham was too busy "playing" with his friend Ben Mehlman, to ever do any plowing in the fields.
But how to get the "workers" to come? Then it struck them! They went to all the Gold’s Gyms in Africa (yeah, they’ve been around forever too!) They figured the type of guys hanging out at the gyms would be perfect workers. They were physically strong, but not too sharp (some things don’t change). They set up "Win a Free Cruise" boxes at all the gyms. I think some of them are still there today.
And as Glenn Beck said, it started out innocently enough. The first "workers" came over on a Carnival Cruise ship. Of course, if you’ve been on a Carnival Ship, you understand it isn’t that big of a leap to get to an evil slave ship. When the plantation owners saw how great this scam was working, they decided to cut corners even more. They dropped Carnival and went with Continental Ship Lines (yes, they later became Continental Airlines, and that level of service survives today!)
Now, getting the "workers" from Gold’s Gyms had its share of problems. Seems they were not able to produce many future workers. Many of the gym members suffered from petite diamond sized "jewels" from steroid use, and the rest seemed to share the same interests as Lindley Graham and Ben Mehlman. That’s when things turned ugly as more "workers" were needed to be imported.
And if you doubt this account, you can look it up for yourself. Just check the latest history book approved by the Texas State Board of Education!