That's a lot of Caviar. UH. LOT. To put it mildly, that stuff don't come cheap. We don't have the money right now. That's why we have a deficit, for you to pretend to care about. For us to give your caviar sucking friends another 700B caviar over what they are getting from the Iraq War or The Afghan War or The Bailouts or The Federal Reserve or ... we will have to put it on the credit card. But, the credit card is maxed. MAXED. To. The. MAXED. Understand? So, you will have to raise the credit card limit, or we can't give your friends no caviar. ZERO. CAVIAR. Zero caviar, unless, you raise the credit limit and that's just to make it theoretically possible.
It doesn't end there because reality will not take a back seat to theory, as God intended, right? Because as you know, the fiscally responsible thing to do about debt is to give the man his money back, right? You don't want us to not pay back your friends, the little caviar sucking bastards, right? But, as I already made clear, which you already knew having had a commission on it for the past 50 years, we don't have the money. So, paying off that 700 Billion Caviar(WOW OMG that's a lot of caviar!) is going to take a lot of work, to put it oh so mildly. WOW. OMG. UH. LOT. OF. WORK. You hear me, GOP?? You understand?? A LOT OF WORK is the price for A LOT OF CAVIAR. If you're not too frail, imagine WOW OMG UH LOT OF CAVIAR. It's only the way God intended it. You understand that is the fiscally responsible thing to do, right? That's what you are all about, correct? You're not suggesting we just take the money and run, are you? Of course not! You know that fiscal responsibility is about paying back a loan no matter how small or how WOW OMG THAT IS A LOT OF CAVIAR huge, right?? You also understand that there is no free lunch, so how can there be free WOW OMG THAT IS UH LOT OF CAVIAR caviar?
Good. So to pay off all that caviar for your friends we will have to do all that work. We will have to do WOW OMG THAT IS UH LOT OF CAVIAR work to pay off WOW OMG THAT IS UH LOT OF CAVIAR caviar. So you understand we need a jobs program because there ain't WOW OMG THAT IS UH LOT OF CAVIAR number of jobs when there are 5 applicants to every job, when the national U1 is 9.8%.
Good. I knew you could be reasonable. So, let's see you vote for WOW OMG THAT IS UH LOT OF CAVIAR jobs program. Hey, why don't you get a jump on the Dems and propose it yourself? C'mon, try looking like a prince every once in a while, ay, alright? Do it for your friends, the little rotten caviar sucking bastards!
Ay! And next time, don't grab the tiger by the beard. Keep your grubby paws off my junk, off my UI, and off my Social Security! It's not good for your job security, you little rotten caviar sucking bastards! Now get out of here! You make me sick.
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