I mean, really, you totally do. It has been months and months and, Jesus, have you even bothered looking up the latest version of your software?
I didn't think so.
Therefore, this diary exists. I need you be understanding and helpful and fun and empathetic. I don't want anyone here giving me shit/kicking my emotional ass/going for their regional Douchebag of the Year™ contests.
Because that's just not OK.
THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ME!
February 25, 2010
by Shiz
- I did not call slinkerwink's thingee today or yesterday, because I suck and I am very lazy. Also, I presently have no phone, so that might have something to do with it.
- I know, I know. I should be banished to some kind of Dkos Nether Region, but the only one I'm aware of is rather sexy, and certainly not meant to convey the "I hope you get away from my private parts" fallacy, such as it is.
Wait, what were we talking about again?!
- I only like chocolate once or twice per month now. This is a definite physical change, for I used to crave chocolate once or twice per week. The reason I am even highlighting this is because it's freakin' me out.
- Amy, my friend who was an escort. stopped doing that. She had one bad experience, which swore her off to the entire profession, thank you Jesus! As much as I tried to be cool with it, it freaked me the fuck out to no end that Amy was a high-class escort and, quite frankly, I don't know what the hell I'd do if another one of my friends tried this out. I might throw up. Amy will be OK financially until the end of April, so she still has a few months to work everything out. She still doesn't make enough at her regular job to justify living alone and/or breathing.
Ugh.
- Orange Feet Dood went bye-bye when I told him I was falling in love with him, and he promptly hung up the phone on me. I KNOW! Can we even possibly get anymore assholic, sir? No, I truly don't think so. Which is precisely why I don't keep in touch with him: he's not worth it.
- I haven't smoked a cigarette in approximately two months now. I've mostly been off of them for 3 months total, but I slipped once. I'm pretty proud of myself for this cold turkey (and extremely helpful) effort! Most days, I don't even crave 'em. :P Please send all of your "You're awesome!" love notes to my Amazon account. I would gleefully give you the Amazon account information, upon request.
- My daughter's school's presentation of Reading to End Racism was kind of lame. Some chick read a chapter of a book, about how two Chinese boys were forced to emigrate to the United States to replace the money their parents could not make in China, and sent money back to China weekly for their extended family to survive on. The "racism" part was wholly overshadowed by the "oh my GOD how poor are we?!" part.
- One of my two Focus on the Family rants. Because it's so hard for me to put emotional jargon into translatable thoughts (ha ha ha), I thought I'd try to say what came out of this Focus on the Family deal. Because those guys are effing crazy!
Yeah. Real shocker, that.
- Wherein I go apeshit, regarding that Obama dude I voted for. And yes, in the "good" way.
- A meditation on Martha Coakley's Massachusetts loss, in mid-January. I cannot vouch for the absolute certainly of this blog post, especially considering that this was Teddy Kennedy's past seat, but I can witness that I was here and, therefore, this "meditation" can stay.
- My Playlist mixes tend to come out exceptionally well. Of course, I'm sorta biased, since I made all the freaking playlists on my account. However, I seek some verification, similar to anything from Law & Order or CSI. If you'd like to have a listen or two (aside from the above URL), let me know and I can provide other links.
Anyway, honestly, I thought you were out of middle school now? :P (I should talk. I bet I'm older than you are.)
- I got nothin'.
- Why is it snowing? DID GOD NOT GET THE MEMO, THAT WE'RE SICK OF THIS SHIT?!
NO?!
Must just be me then. Fuck.
- Not a half-bad journal entry. I require a lot more Barnes & Noble gift certificates. For tax reasons.
- Why won't Twitter release me? Doesn't it know that I am in pain, from all of that modern-day tweeting and Facebooking and blogging and networking and MySpacing and Googling and marketing and ... Uhm, did I mention tweeting already?
It's 11:06 p.m. I have exactly zero plans for 11:07 p.m. Do you think ill of me?