From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Notes other famous people wrote on their hands:
Lincoln:
4score + 7 yrs ago = Baby USA
Civil War still goin' on, but...
Perish? Us? Balderdash!
FDR:
No fear
'cept spiders fear itself
Belief pretty firm on that
Bush II:
Words are on teleprompter
Read right to left left to right
Ride 'em cowboy! Love, Condi
JFK:
Don’t ask:
Country ---> You = bad
You ---> Country = good
Hitler:
Today: Poland
Tomorrow: World
Toodles! Heil!
MLK:
Best dream evuh!
Paper Scissors Character beats color
Freedom = Ding dong!
Arnold:
"Cali"
"Forn"
"Yuh"
Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Note: The party of the teapot is also the party of Teapot Dome. Oh, zing!!!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Valentine's Day: 5
Days `til Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland comes out: 24
Number of federal bank takeovers this year: 16
Days it took Ryan Waters and Cecilie Skog to become the first people to ski across Antarctica unassisted (no dogs, no kites): 70
(Source: Colorado Daily)
Number of passes, out of 39, that Saints QB Drew Brees completed Sunday: 32
Age of Colts kicker Matt Stover, who Sunday became the oldest player to compete and score points in a Super Bowl: 42
(Source: McClatchy)
Percent chance that Sarah Palin also wrote "You betcha" on her palm, but washed it off after she decided she had that particular talking point down pat: 86%
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
Rep. Alan Grayson might be the best thing to happen to conservatives in a long time. Every time he appears on television, it is equivalent to the Democrats hiring Charles Manson as their national spokesman.
---"halstde" at Red State
All together now: One...two...three... Classy!!!
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Pup Pic of the Day: "Yo, waiter! We're outta herring over here!"
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CHEERS to John Murtha. I still remember it, clear as day....and it was a gray, cold day. I was at the airport in Albany, New York---just before Thanksgiving---returning home from business, and the cable news was all a'twitter about some politician who was changing his stance on the Iraq war, and pushing back against the chickenhawks. I didn’t know Congressman Murtha from Adam, but it was clear that his flip was a BIG DEAL. And so was he. I mean, he was big. No, he was huge---not fat huge, but big-boned, hope-you-never-meet-him-in-a-dark-alley huge. His head...an enormous block of blue-collar granite with experience etched deep into it. He didn’t have hands, he had mitts...nay, bear paws. Murtha wasn't without his share of scandal and skullduggery---he did love his pork, and played the Washington game with the best of 'em. And his constituents loved him, faults and all. Murtha died yesterday at 77. To me he will always be the hitman behind the November 17 Neocon Massacre. It oughtta be declared a goddam holiday.
JEERS to silence...like, the bad kind. Last night Keith Olbermann stepped up the campaign that began in the blogosphere (including Daily Kos) to draw attention to the fact that Native Americans in South Dakota are suffering big-time because of brutal winter conditions that have cut off power and threatened water supplies. The federal response has been...um...has there even been a response? Nothing at the Department of the Interior web site. Nothing at the White House web site. Nothing at the FEMA web site. Nothing at the House Office on Indian Affairs web site. And, as Keith noted last night, nothing at the Senate Committee on Indian Affairs web site. If guilt works at all, let's hope it works now:
"I know what it's like to not always have been respected or to have been ignored and I know what it's like to struggle and that’s how I think many of you understand what's happened here on the reservation," Obama said. "A lot of times you have been forgotten, just like African-Americans have been forgotten or other groups in this country have been forgotten. ... That's the commitment that I'm making to you, and since now I'm a member of the family, you know that I won't break my commitment."
Now would be a pretty good time to start reaffirming the "commitment thing" to your adopted family, sir. (Hint: the phone is that thing on your desk with the numbers on it.)
CHEERS to loose lips. Hey, let's check in and see how much "underpants bomber" Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab is revealing to federal authorities now, keeping in mind the Republicans are "livid" (read: politically unscrupulous) because he was read his Miranda rights and insisted he wouldn’t release any details about al Qaeda:
"...he brushes his teeth every morning at 7:12. Why 7:12? Who the hell knows? No one ever asks him because, hey, he's Osama. You know what he brushes his teeth with? Cave dirt! Can you believe that? I'd be like, 'Yuck! Cave dirt sucks!' But he seems to be cool with it. But you know what he needs? Mouthwash! Or breath mints! Or something! Even the pack mules won’t let him ride 'cause of his hali-frackin'-tosis. Oh, and this is cute: he uses a Buzz Lightyear toothbrush. He wanted to use a Whitney Houston toothbrush but all we could find was a firm-bristle one, and he only uses the medium-bristle kind. But if you think he's wacky on brushing, you should see his flossing habits! But listen to me, just yammering on. Lemme show you where some more of my al Qaeda lieutenants are located. But, ahem---[rattle rattle]---this near-empty bowl of Skittles ain't gonna refill itself, guys..."
And not a waterboard in sight.
JEERS to Presidents' Day ads. They're all over TV and print hawking everything from cars to mattresses---bad actors in bad Abe and George costumes spouting lines like "We'll free your credit with no payments `til 2011!" and "We cannot tell a lie...we're dealin'!!" And advertisers wonder why they always find themselves at the bottom of the professional food chain.
CHEERS to one step for progress. The Plan B "One-Step" morning-after pill will now be returning to military hospitals and clinics, rolling back yet another kooky Bush-era policy. Of course, there wouldn't be any need for it---and thus no controversy---if we switched to an all-gay military. Jus' sayin'.
JEERS to flicking boogers at FDR's grave. It will never end: the GOP plan to gut Social Security will simply never end. And even though Sarah Whatserface dominated the weekend news cycle, her crazy twin, Congressfiend Michele Bachmann, put a not-too-fine point on that fact, calling for a complete privatization of our nation's safety net for the elderly and disabled. Which reminded me of something Michael Kinsley said a few years back that really sums up the spirit behind these wretched human beings who somehow manage to weasel their way into the halls of power. He said (paraphrasing): it's like the Republican driving his Hummer across the desert who comes upon a man crawling on his hands and knees. "I'm dying of thirst---please, I need a glass of water," says the man. The Republican says, "Hey, you don't want water, you want lemonade! It's much better!" So the man says, "Okay, thank you." And just before driving away the Republican hands the man a packet of lemonade powder and says, "Here...just add water." I'd suggest where Michelle Bachmann can put her lemonade powder, but I'm just too modest in polite society. (But it rhymes with Hup Her Hass.)
CHEERS to partly cloudy skies with a 60 percent chance of error. Today is the 140th birthday of the National Weather Service. It paved the way for dudes with bad hair and ugly ties who have no problem being wrong to reach their full potential. Or, as the temp agency calls it: a dream job for Rod Blagojevich.
JEERS to silly gimmicks. Wow! C&J is now so influential that we got two DNC membership cards in the mail! We were so excited we went out and used them right away. Results: Cash received---$0. Jammed ATMs---2.
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Five years ago in C&J: February 9, 2005
JEERS to Big Government, Republican-style. The L.A. Times reports that, despite all the cuts, Bush's $2.6 trillion budget is actually a third larger than the Clinton budget he inherited four years ago. C&J is outraged! (But, uh, don't touch my rum subsidies or you lose a finger.)
JEERS to not recognizing my country anymore. Bob Herbert in the New York Times is right: "The Bush administration has turned Guantanamo into a place that is devoid of due process and the rule of law. It's a place where human beings can be imprisoned for life without being charged or tried, without ever seeing a lawyer, and without having their cases reviewed by a court. Congress and the courts should be uprooting this evil practice, but freedom and justice in the United States are on a post-9/11 downhill slide." We'll give Mr. Herbert about 48 more hours before he mysteriously disappears. [2/9/10 Update: Remember when George W. Bush said over and over that he really, really wanted to close Gitmo, and Republicans nodded their heads robotically? Funny how all it takes to change millions of minds is replacing an R with a D at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Neat trick!]
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And just one more...
CHEERS to more online elbow room. Remember when blogging was all the rage, and everyone had their own little online home-away-from-home where they could opine and muse and...stuff? Out of such humble origins came titans like Josh Marshall, Atrios, John Aravosis, Digby, Pam Spaulding and the Great Unwashed Masses of "The Daily Kozz." At the peak of Le Revolution Virtualité, over one bajillion blogs were being created every hour! The shuttle astronauts could actually see the blogosphere from space!!! Well, for some the bloom is off the modem, as it were. According to the authors of a new report, "Social Media and Mobile Internet Use Among Teens and Young Adults," them darn kids are GBCW'ing and moving on, leaving behind a wasteland of twisted Blogspot wreckage last updated in early 2007:
[Pew researcher Amanda] Lenhart says blogging among teens and young adults has plummeted to half what it was in 2006. In that year, 28% of teens ages 12-17 and adults ages 18-29 were bloggers. By the fall of 2009, the numbers had dropped to 14% of teens and 15% of young adults. During the same period, the percentage of online adults over 30 who were bloggers rose from 7% in 2006 to 11% in 2009.
"What we think is really going on here---why young people aren't doing blogs anymore---is that there's been a move from MySpace, which put blogging front and center, to Facebook, which doesn't have that," Lenhart says.
But the report also says they'll be back as they mature and see the error of their ways. And we shall welcome them back with open arms. The ones who bring us a six-pack, anyway.
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Have a nice Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Finally! Bill in Portland Maine's Playgirl cover revealed
---People
2/8/10
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