One of my goals this week was to get out all the information I had collected at a fitness retreat (www.hhhealth.com) I went to late last year and figure out what would be worth sharing with the WHEE community. Gee, come to think of it, organizing that material has been a "goal" since returning in mid December. Yet here I am, at 4:30 Saturday morning, papers spread all over the bed (where's the dog?) realizing, once again, that reaching my goals is not a magical process.
I set some concrete fitness and health goals, oh, about three and a half months ago. Went through all the steps, clarifying values, writing them down, identifying roadblocks. So... what happened? Where are the results?
Turns out that you have to keep at it if you really want to make it happen. Hmph!
WHEE (Weight, Health, Eating and Exercise) is a community support diary for Kossacks who are currently or planning to start losing, gaining or maintaining their weight through diet and exercise or fitness. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are working on your weight or fitness, please -- join us! You can also click the WHEE tag to view all diary posts
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Here are the steps I took to organizing the aforementioned material, since I've returned from retreat.
- Gathered material.
- Put them in a box.
- Two days ago moved box.
- This morning opened box, spread stuff around.
- Shuffled through it and put most of it back in box.
Apparently this diary should be about avoidance as a coping mechanism.
Seriously, though. Reviewing this stuff, I am reminded that effective goal setting is based on values. It's important to distinguish between values and priorities. I've heard the acronym WIN used to describe priorities - what's important now. My priority this morning was getting this diary written, because I value the committment I made and I value this community. However, if there was an emergency at work, or one of my dogs became deathly ill, my priority would change in a heartbeat. My priority right now is to finish this up and submit it but if my internet service goes down that would change. Based on my values, I would make a reasonable attempt to get to a place that had functioning internet service. I would be willing to drive to the nearest place I know off island, it would take me about 10 minutes to get there. But if the reason service went out was because of a horrendous storm that made it foolish to be on the road, the value I place on my safety would supercede. Likewise, I am willing to drive 10 minutes just to get this posted but not 45, or even 30, unless I had some other errands to do. Priorities change, values don't.
Here at WHEE, we value health and fitness and community. We have considered the alternatives and consequences and are freely choosing actions that allign with these values, even if we have to give something else up at times. We publicly affirm these values by talking about them with friends and family. We've made the commitment and we will persevere. We understand that flitting from one project to another, breaking promises and abandoning efforts to change soon after you begin are signs of not knowing what you actually want.
Here is a helpful tool, adapted from a handout at retreat, for clarifying values: On a piece of paper write this heading:
"Values Grid: Future Changes."
On the left write "Changes I Plan to Make" and across the top write the numbers one throught seven.
"Changes I plan to Make." 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
List the changes you plan to make and answer the following questions for each. It may help to draw this as a grid.
- Do I need to consider more alternatives? could there be something along the same lines that I might want more than the wish I listed? Do I want to give the option more thought? If yes, put an "x" in column 1.
- Do I need to examine more closely the consequences of achieving this wish? do I need to assess my ability realistically to attain this goal? Am I aiming too high or too low? Have I overlooked anything about this wish? If yes, put an "x" in column 2.
- Do I want this for myself or am I trying to please someone else? Is this something I think I should do, and do I resent having to do it? Will I be happy about this wish even if no on else is? If you do not know, draw an "x" in column 3.
- If I accomplished this, would I feel proud? Would I be happy about what I'd be doing to reach my goal? Is this important enough to me to put time, money, energy and emotion into it? Would I fight to do it? If no, put an "x" in column 4.
- do I plan to keep what I'm doing a secret? Do I feel ashamed or embarrassed by my choice? Have I thought about not saying anything because other people won't understand or agree with what I'm doing? If yes, put an "x" in column 5.
- Can this desire be translated into action? Will I do what I set out to do? Am I sure this isn't a pipe dream? If no, put an "x" in column 6.
- Is this going to be something else I start but do not finish? Will I lose my resolve if I do not see immediate results? Will I give up if the going gets tough? Could something else come along to distreact me? Will I then abandon this plan? If yes, put an "x" in column 7.
If you are to get what you want, you will have to do some work on the steps marked with an "x." Look at your grid and make a list of things you need to do before you attempt to change that behavior. Ask yourself the same questions for any goal or aspiration you hope to reach. If you fill out the grid honestly, you will better understand what your really want and act accordingly.
It's useful to examine past efforts to change. You can list them in a similar manner and apply the same questions.
Ok, all done? Gee, that was simple. No? I find this exercise to be illuminating. But it also makes me squirm a bit. There is something powerful about writing it down. It's much harder to weasel out of. Or kid yourself. And no one will see it but you, unless you decide to share.
Scheduled WHEE diaries
March 13
Sat PM - Edward Spurlock (Wansink, Ch. 2)
March 14
Sun AM - louisev (weekly diary)
Sun PM - WHEE Open
March 15
Mon AM - NC Dem
Mon PM - WHEE Open
March 16
Tues AM - WHEE Open
Tues PM - WHEE Open
March 17
Weds AM - WHEE Open
Weds PM - Edward Spurlock (Kolata, Ch. 5)
March 18
Thur AM - WHEE Open
Thur PM - WHEE Open
March 19
Fri AM - WHEE Open
Fri PM - WHEE Open (Wee Mama on hiatus)
March 20
Sat AM - bloomin (weekly diary)
When we work hard to clarify our values and reach our goals it is appropriate to reward ourselves, preferably in a way that will support our efforts. In that spirit, I offer you a link to a truly delightful and calorie free youtube video. Pour yourself a cup of tea and enjoy. Oh, come on!
http://www.youtube.com/...