I am beyond apathetic about this entire game we're playing.
I came into Spring '09 ready to read every single thing I could find on health care reform. I was so totally excited to have a whole huge (and positive!) policy initiative to learn about, instead of trudging through more pages of redacted bullshit that only served to anger me for eight long years. It didn't take too long for me to realize this wasn't exactly gonna go down in the publicly accountable, C-SPAN-erific way I thought it might.
I never thought any of this would be easy. I was young at the time, but I've since learned quite a bit about the Clinton health care debacle. One only has to spend a few minutes reviewing the first Chapter of the Clinton Presidency (or the entirety, for that matter) to understand that nothing about this would be easy. But I at least believed firmly that I was on the right side. That even if the country didn't get everything I wanted for it (which it wouldn't, given that I was well aware single payer would not be on the table), we would at least see what it meant for the good guys to loudly fight for what is right.
But then I flipped on C-SPAN and there was nothing. I tried to learn about the Administration's meetings with interest groups, and all I found were nameless, faceless, deniable quotes.
I waited for public conferences between key players, so we could watch the Democrats stand up for a set of policies that would undoubtedly leave Americans excited. I got months of waiting for the Gang of Six to decide whether or not to take a bathroom break.
I waited for a President who clearly knew how to do both verbal combat and fireside chats. I waited for him to go to the obstructionist Republicans who were sure to emerge and debate them in front of the whole country. I waited for him to sit down with the American people and offer a straightforward description of our situation, the options in front of us, and what he believed was the best option and why. I got hedged statements about an increasingly pitiful 'public option' and explanations about the situation that managed to never leave me inspired while never leaving me any better informed.
I waited for the Democratic leadership to confront obstructionists within our own party and make them understand that their political fates would be crushed if they dared to obstruct progress. I had personally voted against Joe Lieberman and I knew my party would need to stand up to him and his ilk if anything real was to be accomplished. Instead, I got a party unwilling to so much as revoke a committee chairmanship. My own party funds the political campaigning of those who stand against us.
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But this is not an argument for or against any policy position. At various times (and sometimes in the same day) I've made arguments supporting both sides of this issue. Should we kill this project or cheer it over the finish line?
To be completely honest, I do not now care about the answer to that question. I know that the answer will profoundly impact my life personally as well as the life of our nation. But I just cannot force myself to care about this. I have tried. For hours on end. I have read summary after summary of the proposed bills in question (no, I have not read the proposed bills themselves. They aren't written in English, and I can't seem to find my Legalese-to-English dictionary anywhere.) Every time I try to read an analysis of health care reform, I find myself zoning out, unable to concentrate. Every time I start to understand just where we are on this fight, things change - and hardly ever for the better.
Like I said, I don't mind the idea of a hard fight. In fact, I love that idea. But I am just dead tired of caring what anonymous source A says about what the HHS Secretary's Deputy says the Secretary thinks the Chief of Staff might currently be talking to the President about. They could be talking about what to have for lunch or whether or not 40 million people will have health insurance. I have no idea and neither does anonymous source A. Only the two people involved in the original conversation know, and they have made it perfectly clear that they will not be telling me any time soon.
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If the tenor of conversation here is any indication, people on both sides of the question are full of certainty. But I do not understand how.
On the one side you have the basic fact that if we do not pass reform now, it will be many years before we have any chance to revisit it.
On the other side, you have the basic fact that if we pass the current version of HCR, there will be a government-imposed mandate requiring citizens to pay taxes to private, for-profit, monopolistic corporations.
You're more than welcome to take issue with either of those statements, but I'm not entirely clear on what basis you would do so. If Bill Clinton's Presidency is any guide, two things are apparently to me. First, we will not get a second chance for at least a decade - our majorities in the House and Senate won't be getting any larger any time soon, and I kind of doubt Barack Obama is interesting in burning through another year of his Presidency on this issue, no matter how important it is.
Second, looking like a bunch of losers will turn the Democrats into losers. It doesn't matter what the policy specifics are - the GOP and the media will not hesitate to yell loud and clear from now til November (and beyond) about how, with huge majorities, the Democrats couldn't accomplish anything. We're not talking logic here, we're talking messaging, which you cannot deny the Right in this country is fantastic at.
The same applies for passing this thing, though. Having given the insurance companies the one thing they want - a mandate that we all buy their product - there is no chance they will keep quiet if/when we try to amend this project in the future.
Every single dollar that goes into subsidizing premiums for those who cannot otherwise afford insurance will be going directly into the pockets of insurance companies. If I remember the transitive property correctly, that pretty much means I will be paying - through my tax dollars, which will go to subsidies, which will go to insurance companies - to lobby against reforming our health care system.
So yes, this is in fact the week we have all been anxiously awaiting. Excitement appears to be building everywhere you look, except right here. I couldn't care less what happens this week, and I honestly don't know what could change that.