For all the joking around I do about being crazy, and boasting about the fact that I'm "good" crazy and not "bad" crazy, I sometimes forget that some people are just straight-up batshit.
What he had written off as gobbledygook suddenly turned into something altogether more bizarre: he was being lauded by members of an obscure religious group who had decided that (Raj) Patel - a food activist who grew up in a corner shop in Golders Green in north-west London - was, in fact, the messiah.
You think Scientologists are weird? They got nuthin' on this story.
Some relatively cool dude named Raj Patel went on The Colbert Report to promote a book he wrote, called The Value of Nothing. I can't seem to find a clip of it on YouTube, so here's the link. Raj has a good sense of humor, he's wicked smart, and he's pretty damn cute. Plus, he's a DFH. Aside from that, which is fairly standard fare for an appearance on Colbert, there's nothing particularly earth-shattering about it.
But an organization called Share International disagrees. I refuse to harm any of you by linking to those wackos.
From the Guardian/CommonDreams article:
The London-born author, 37, thought his slot on comedy talkshow The Colbert Report went well enough: the host made a few jokes, Patel talked a little about his work and then, job done, he went back to his home in San Francisco.
Shortly afterwards, however, things took a strange turn. Over the course of a couple of days, cryptic messages started filling his inbox.
"I started getting emails saying 'have you heard of Benjamin Creme?' and 'are you the world teacher?'" he said. "Then all of a sudden it wasn't just random internet folk, but also friends saying, 'Have you seen this?'"
As you can well imagine, Benjamin Creme is not, uhm, normal. He's the leader of Share International, but that's only one of Creme's many gifts. Check this out:
Benjamin Creme was a member of the Aetherius Society (a UFO based new religious movement) between 1957 and 1959, when he left due to disagreements.
What the fuck do you disagree about regarding UFOs? What, the color schemes are all wrong or something?
Christ on a crouton.
Also:
In the spring of 1982 Creme placed advertisements in newspapers around the world saying, "The Christ is now here". According to Creme the "Christ", whom he also called "Maitreya", would announce his existence on world wide television broadcasts, and that he would do that on Monday, 21 June 1982. This created a sensation within some New Age groups, and even among some Evangelical Christians; but, when the promised television broadcasts of the Maitreya/Christ failed to occur, most of Creme's followers lost interest. This, he said, was because Maitreya had seen the time was not right for his general acceptance, at the level necessary, for his work to be successful. Creme, who claims that time is now very near for Maitreya's emergence, is independently wealthy and continues to fund newspaper advertisements and press conferences, as well as to fund his journal and websites.
Creme stated that when the "Day of Declaration" occurs, "The Christ will come on the world's television channels, linked together by satellite. All those with access to television will see... [His face]. He will establish a telepathic rapport with all humanity simultaneously". While the Christ is speaking... [everyone will feel far more love than they've ever felt before, that massive outpouring of love will cause] hundreds of thousands of 'miracle' cures will take place simultaneously."
In 1997 Creme made similar predictions that Maitreya would appear on television and be interviewed around the world. This time there was far less media interest.
Heh.
Clearly, this guy makes an unintentional, but well-founded, case for actually shooting your television. Or throwing it out the window. Or both.
So Creme's elevator doesn't go up to the top floor. Ya know, he doesn't have both oars in the water. And he's several sandwiches short of a picnic.
But this man has followers. Followers! And they saw Raj Patel on Colbert and they were all, "THAT'S HIM! THAT'S OUR MESSIAH/MAITREYA/WHATEVER THE HELL!"
Back to the Guardian/Common Dreams:
Their reasoning? Patel's background and work coincidentally matched a series of prophecies made by an 87-year-old Scottish mystic called Benjamin Creme, the leader of a little-known religious group known as Share International. Because he matched the profile, hundreds of people around the world believed that Patel was the living embodiment of a figure they called Maitreya, the Christ or "the world teacher".
His job? To save the world, and everyone on it.
Yeah! No pressure there or anything! Poor Raj. A decent fellow can't even go on Colbert anymore without someone accusing him of being the goddamned savior.
What started as an oddity kept snowballing until suddenly, in the middle of his book tour and awaiting the arrival of his first child, Patel was inundated by questions, messages of support and even threats. The influx was so heavy, in fact, that he put up a statement on his website referencing Monty Python's Life of Brian and categorically stating that he was not Maitreya.
Instead of settling the issue, however, his denial merely fanned the flames for some believers. In a twist ripped straight from the script of the comedy classic, they said that this disavowal, too, had been prophesied. It seemed like there was nothing to convince them.
Are you currently staring at your computer screen, unable to either laugh or cry, and not sure which one would be an appropriate response?
Yeah, me too.
While he struggles to cope with this unwanted anointment, his friends and family are more tickled by the situation.
"They think it's hilarious," he said. "My parents came to visit recently, and they brought clothes that said 'he's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy'. To them, it's just amusing."
LOL. OK. I guess I'll just laugh then. That's what Colbert did. :)