Orly? Yah, srsly.
President Obama (who shall henceforth be referred to as "Destroyer of Mother Earth", or "DME") announced today that his administration is establishing an energy plan with the main focus of destroying our planet.
In order to more quickly bring about the destruction of Earth, her inhabitants and all life, I'm announcing a new energy policy that will open up the Earth's core for resource exploration. Now, we know Exxon could give a shit about teh Earth, so we expect them to immediately begin drilling to the core in order to harvest the gazillion barrels of oil that the US Geological Survey will find tomorrow. I'd like to pre-emptively commend the US Geological Survey for having the resources and capability of establishing the contents of the core within 24 hours of this announcement, so that Exxon can begin work on Monday.
While the exploration of the core will likely begin a massive seismic occurrence that will likely render Earth unstable and uninhabitable, I believe that opening the core for drilling is part of any realistic energy policy for the 21st century, because frankly we need to get our asses moving to the Moon and Mars.
HAPPY APRIL 1ST !!!!!!
But seriously folks,
The outrage at drilling piece of Obama's energy plan is unreasonable at best; the type of critcism that comes from unrealistic people who, if their personal desires were enacted, would LITERALLY cause the US to fail.
"This is not a decision that I've made lightly," Obama told an audience at Maryland's Joint Base Andrews Naval Air Facility.
But the bottom line is this: Given our energy needs, in order to sustain economic growth and produce jobs and keep our businesses competitive, we're going to need to harness traditional sources of fuel even as we ramp up production of new sources of renewable, homegrown energy."
"The answer is not drilling everywhere all the time," Obama said in an event at Andrews Air Force Base. "But the answer is not, also, for us to ignore the fact that we are going to need vital energy sources to maintain our economic growth and our security."
Gosh, what Earth-hating spew from a pragmatic, reasonable, wise President. Who needs that crap when you can make emotional decisions?
Blackwaterdog has a good diary here: Hopey
Look, the President (or DME, if you prefer) understands and is working toward a comprehensive energy policy that emphasizes moving the nation toward reliance on clean, renewable energy. While spazzing about the drilling fields being opened in the greenish-brown Atlantic and Gulf of Mexico (the pristine Bristol Bay was not included), emo's are missing the new mileage/emission standards for 2012 and the purchase of thousands of hybrid cars for the federal fleet. The Emo's are also completely forgetting about when they were complaining about wars over oil in the Middle East and terrorism being funded by Ford Explorer owners.
It'll also take QUITE awhile for the US and then the private explorations to find what and where to drill...giving us even more time to move reliance to sustainable sources and not need as much when the drilling can begin.
Here's some prozac for the enviro-anxiety crowd:
- President Obama is the most environment-favoring President probably ever.
- There are several initiatives and orders in the energy plan that will promote the development and funding of biofuels and other sustainable energy sources, while de-incentivizing wasteful energy use.
- You don't get addicts to quit cold turkey, and probably can't get them to even try that way.
- Getting the fossil fuels from our territories will decrease the need for sourcing them in the Middle East and Venezuela, thereby cutting down on the political and military issues that arise from sourcing there.
Take a deep breath.
Have a happy Easter/Passover!