I know this will come as a complete shock to some, but my sister and I do not see eye-to-eye, philosophically or religiously. Serena (not her real name) and I are disgustingly close, and she voted for Barack Obama in '08, but we simply do not agree on many, many things. That's sort of how we roll: I'm a liberal and she's a conservative.
I blew her Catholic mind today. Not only does she support the Catholic Church through weekly tithings, but she volunteers to teach the kids Sunday School and shit. Of course, Serena knows that I am not of the same mindset, so she rarely talks about it with me, unless I bring it up.
Today's conversation had to do with the Pope. And Jesus.
The latest controvery surrounding Joseph Ratzinger, otherwise known as Pope Benedict XVI, was alarming to Serena. She concluded, without arrogance, "I don't like him. I don't."
Both Serena and I have children, which probably had some to do with her decision. As a matter of fact, she is presently pregnant with her second child. (Yay!)
Serena, being my sister of course, does not buy the Catholic Church's statement on the matter:
VATICAN CITY -- The Vatican on Tuesday dismissed any notion that Pope Benedict XVI should take personal responsibility for the child-sexual-abuse scandal rocking the church, defending his management of such cases and vowing that the crisis would not interrupt what historians view as his conservative agenda for Catholics around the world.
She's all, "He ignored it! He did! I know we can impeach an American president, but can be impeach a pope?"
I told her that I didn't know. But to wit (and unintentionally indicting in nature, I realize):
Contrary to many reactionary opinion pieces linking Benedict to the sexual scandals themselves, articles such as this excellent investigative report by Jason Berry of the National Catholic Reporter, suggest that far from being a part of the cover-up of the terrifying sexual abuse scandal surrounding Fr. Marcial Maciel, founder of the Legion of Christ, Benedict (both as pope and as head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith) not only refused the Legion’s money, but also acted against the wishes of his predecessor John Paul II and his advisors and struck out on his own to begin an investigation into the Legion and specifically into Maciel himself. Indeed, just one week after John Paul II had entrusted the Legion with the administration of Jerusalem’s Notre Dame Center (and after many other instances wherein the former pontiff heaped praise on Maciel and his organization) then Cardinal Ratzinger authorized his own investigation into Maciel. Shortly after Ratzinger became pope he banished Maciel outright, and stepped up the Vatican’s efforts to investigate the Legion.
Let me tell you how shocked (SIMPLY SHOCKED!) I am at this new information. ('Course, my sister actually WAS shocked.) I told Serena a story that she did not already know: that the current Pope was part of the Nazi youth. I have a slight problem with that:
Joseph Ratzinger joined the Hitler Youth in 1941 when, according to him and his supporters, it became compulsory for all German boys. Millions of Germans were in a position similar to that of Joseph Ratzinger and his family, so why spend so much time focusing on him? Because he is no longer merely Joseph Ratzinger, or even a Catholic Cardinal — he is now Pope Benedict XVI. None of the other Germans who joined the Hitler Youth, were part of the military in Nazi Germany, lived near a concentration camp, and watched Jews being rounded up for death camps has ever become pope.
The pope is supposed to be the successor of Peter, leader of the Christian Church, and symbol of unity for all Christendom. The past actions — or inactions — of such a person matter a great deal if anyone is going to treat him as any sort of moral authority. Ratzinger’s recollections of his youth in Nazi Germany makes it seem as though all the problems, violence, and hatred existed outside his local community. There is no recognition that resistance to the Nazis existed — or was needed — just outside his door.
Serena had a similar problem: although we both seem to understand that Ratzinger could have been mandated to be a "Nazi youth", we both feel that it's inappropriate for a former member of the Nazi youth to think he could be the fucking Catholic pope. Call us crazy.
Me: Did you know that he was a member of the Nazi youth?
Serena: NO WAY! Are you shitting me?!
Me: No, I'm totally serious.
S: How did I not know about this?!
Me: I dunno. Have you been watching Fox News again?!
S: Ha ha ha! No, not even remotely. Werner (hubby) wouldn't let me, even if I wanted to.
Me: Then why don't you believe me?
S: Because I know you hate Catholics!
Me: Not true! I just hate the Catholic Church!
S: What's the difference?!
Me: I don't hate you for belonging to it. That's the difference.
S: ...
Me: What?!
S: You're going to blog about this, aren't you?
Me: Probably.
Sometime around there, our conversation moved away from the Pope and the sexual abuse scandal, and focused more on Jesus, that DFH, and what he would have wanted, had Jesus lived in this day and age:
Serena: Why do you even pretend to be non-biased? You are totally biased! You hate God!
Me: No, I don't.
S: Alright, fine. You hate my belief in my God.
Me: No, I don't.
S: Geez. OK, then, what do you hate?
Me: Aside from George Bush and Dick Cheney? Not much. But I do hate that your belief in your God comes solely from Christianity, from Catholicism, and that you're not really open-minded, Ser.
S: Not true! I AM, TOO!
Me: (laughing) Really? You mean that? So you're OK with me being bisexual then?!
S: OK, fine! What the?! The Bible says you're going to hell!
Me: No, it doesn't. Read me one passage where that's true.
S: ...
Me: You can't think of one, can you?
S: I can! Just gimme time!
Me: No way. You don't deserve it. Besides, if I'm going to "hell", I am TOTALLY taking you with me!
S: Jesus would NOT approve of this conversation.
Me: Sure, he would.
S: NUH UH!
Me: YUH HUH!
S: How do you know?!
Me: Because Jesus would be way fine to hang out with someone like me than to hang out with someone like you.
S: Do you have proof of this?
Me: Absolutely! Have you actually READ the Bible, Serena? Jesus digs people like me! He's a dirty fucking hippie!
S: HE IS NOT!
Me: Oh yes, he is! Don't give me that crap! Jesus would totally hang with me before he ever would hang with you!
S: Just because you swear a lot DOES NOT mean the Jesus would approve of you!
Me: I don't think that Jesus Christ gives a fucking fuck if I swear, honestly. His long, hippie hair mandates this.
S: He has long, hippie hair? You mean, like the picture in Mom and Dad's bedroom? The one where he has pretty brown hair and a goatee?
Me: Are you actually asking me this?! No, Ser, the dude was Middle Eastern. More than likely, he'd be totally brown, not white.
S: WHAT?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
Me: ... Serena, the man was Jewish. More likely than not, he'd be brown, not white.
S: (extremely angry) THEN WHY ARE ALL THE PICTURES OF HIM SHOWING HIM AS A WHITE PERSON?!?
Me: Uhm. Did you just discover that our country has a slight problem with racial profiling?!
S: ...
Me: Where the hell did you think he was born?!
S: I dunno! Aren't Jewish people white?!
Me: It depends on where there were born, Ser. You might wanna study up on your religious history a bit.
S: Geez. Are you going to blog about this, too?!
Me: Probably.
Huh.
I realize that I am A Sinner and A Worthless Individual and, uhm, Not a Catholic. Does that mean I'm going to hell? Am I? AM I?!
(This would probably be a less intense question for me if I actually believed in hell. But don't tell Serena. :P)