It was not too long ago that I made the personal decision to come out to my family as a Gay person. In fact, it was a process that took quite a while, but it made a profoundly positive difference in my life. For once in my life I felt like the personal success in my life was truly liberating because I did so as who I was and still am. This was nearly 6 years ago when I was 19, and I respect that everyone has their own journey as an LGBT person. We often face immense prejudice, discrimination, and hostility from many people from strangers to family members. Thus, the issue of coming out is very personal to me, and I'd like to focus on why coming out is needed if things like the Defense of Marriage Act or Don't Ask, Don't Tell are ever going away.
There is a lot of discussion about the sexual orientation of President Obama's Supreme Court Nominee Elena Kagan. Is she or is she not? No one knows for sure except those people closest to her and herself. However, if she is a Lesbian, I hope that we will see her come out with the President and White House's full support collectively. Elena Kagan has her own life story just as all of the rest of us do, and if she is Gay, she has the possibility to be a transformative Supreme Court nominee. However, it is not for the reasons that the anti-LGBT right wing would contend in what is likely to be their homophobic rants railing against a Lesbian. In reality, if Elena Kagan is Gay and remains closeted the homophobic element of our society has already won and here is why.
The continuation of having closeted Governors, Senators, House members, and perhaps even past Presidents is how those who hate LGBT people are already victorious. Most LGBT people would love to live in a world where we were fully equal under the law without direct discrimination against us, but that is not the reality in America today. Also, it would be nice if we lived in a world where your sexual orientation did not matter because we were not judged negatively on that, but that is not the reality either. Thus, the right wing and homophobic individuals in general win everytime someone steps into public office and remains closeted for the duration of their career. It does not matter whether they are Democratic or Republican. The damage is still the same.
How exactly do these government officials that happen to be LGBT remaining in the closet harm LGBT people? First of all it makes it appear as if being LGBT is morally wrong. Why would someone in our government constantly avoid or deny who they are if the implication wasn't that there was something wrong with that? Thus, LGBT people in positions of power with the local, state, and federal government maintain the oppression of LGBT people by making it appear shameful. It might not even be their intention, but it does appear that way. Since when do we hear of Heterosexual people being told that proclaiming their love for their Husband or Wife in public is a "personal and private" matter? We don't do that to Heterosexual government officials and we should treat LGBT people in government the same.
Many of these men and women who remain in the closet most likely believe they will gain favor or power at the expense of their integrity. These women and men rob the LGBT community of powerful role models for other LGBT people who are looking for hope in such tough times. The sad thing is that because you can be fired or legally discriminated against in the military simply for being LGBT it is understandable why so many of these people decide to be closeted. The heartbreaking aspect of this is that they are not being true to themselves by avoiding or outright denying an aspect of their identity which is core to their humanity. You need only look to the host of anti-Gay individuals in our government who have voted against their own rights while stating the most vile things.
Also, we rob ourselves of the visibility that is needed to move our civil rights movement forward as a community when we decide to remain closeted. How can we change anything if we pretend to be someone we are not or studiously avoid the subject? By having openly LGBT people serving in all three branches of government we create a profound change in and of itself no matter what political party or ideology we identify with. I remember seeing the faces of many African American people on the right of Obama's victory. It was pride because they knew they had achieved a historic moment by what happened on November 4th, 2008. Racism did not go away because of President Obama's election any then homophobia would go away if more openly LGBT individuals were in elected office.
None the less, when the LGBT community is robbed of those same meaningful role models who literally have a voice at the table in our political system then we lose out on something so important. Our ability to affect change within the system is compromised when there are not openly LGBT people serving on the Supreme Court, Congress, and Executive branch with the Presidency. The silence from within the closet will not save the life of a young Gay person contemplating suicide because of the hatred of his or her community. The silence from within the closet will not save the young Gay person from being kicked out of their home just because they are Gay. There is meaningful change that results from people in public office who get the larger society to realize there is nothing wrong with being Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, or Transgender.
In conclusion, I admit to not knowing for sure as to whether Elena Kagan is a Lesbian or not. However, if she is, I hope she will bring about change by being the first openly Gay nominated person to the Supreme Court. Hopefully I will live to see the day when a persons sexual orientation does not matter, but right now it does, and she could make a tremendous difference for the better if she is Gay and did come out. Each persons coming out journey is very personal, emotional, and is ongoing as you meet new people through out your life. The true liberation for the LGBT community will be when we no longer have to have this dialogue, but for now we must so that we can get to that point as a nation. Elena Kagan, if you are Gay, please open the closet door because you might save a life and will make a major difference in our nation by doing so.