As I was watching David Copperfield tonight, the one directed by George Cukor, I began to get into a funny mood. I don't know why. Maybe it brought back memories of my childhood. And then I thought about how some jokes just aren't funny. I don't know why.
You know the jokes I'm talking about. Usually they aren't funny because they don't have any truth to them. They are simply a reaction to what has recently happened; but they are a child's reaction, immature, unfunny in any way. Its like the people that do find it funny almost feel compelled to find it so, to be part of the club.
Me? I don't know.
So anyway, here's some jokes I just wrote up for the occasion:
How many BP executives does it take to change a light bulb?
1 to say "I just want my light back."
2 to say "We're really pleased with the progress in changing the bulb."
3 to say "Sign this form releasing us of any liability while the light was out and then you can change the bulb."
4 to say "This is a really big room and the light being out couldn't possibly cause any problem."
5 to blame other people for the light being out.
25 to take a vacaction in Vale, Colorado to congratulate themselves on such a great job replacing the bulb, which only took 102 days.
How many Israelies does it take to change a light bulb?
5 to invent a new bulb that shines light around corners and can also be used as a cell phone or nuclear bomb.
20 to say "We are being persecuted and besides, we deny we have any light to begin with and if we did, it was God who gave it to us."
1 to change the bulb.
How many Hamas members does it take to change a light bulb?
4 to dig a tunnel to Egypt to smuggle the new light bulb.
25 to chant "Death to Israel!" while waiting for the new bulb.
5 to shoot a rocket at Israel with the old bulb in it, which misses.
1 to change the bulb which is immediately bombed by the Israelies, who claim it is a threat to its existence.
How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
1 to say "Who could have foreseen the light going out?"
1 to say "We know where the lights are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south, and north somewhat."
5 to say "Tax cuts will solve the light problem."
And all of them to say "No."
How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
1 to write a sternly written letter about the bulb being out.
2 to say "The old bulb was stolen from us!"
5 to say "Who should pay for the new bulb?"
10 to say "I want a pink bulb!"
15 to say "I want a blue bulb!"
20 to say "The old bulb should have been replaced a long time ago, it's not our fault the light went out!"
25 to hold Congressional hearings on why the bulb still isn't replaced.
How many Teabaggers does it take to change a light bulb?
5 to say "We should just use candles like our Founding Fathers did!"
10 to blame the Socialist/Communist/Nazi regime for the light being out.
20 to say "This isn't change we can believe in!"
1 to go to Walmart and buy a new bulb.
3 Israelies walk into a bar.
The bartender says "What will you have?"
The Israelies say, "We want half your bar. You can have the basement."
The bartender says, "But it's my bar! My father owned it before me!"
Well, you know how that turned out!