What I encountered upon opening a simple paper product - toilet tissue - is disturbing, disgusting and almost unbelievable. Its pretty gross, so don't read further if you want to avoid being grossed out.
I need help. I have called the corporation from whom I bought the product and in the end I got a call from a corporate lawyer telling me to "just throw it away." Except, I need to know if I've been exposed to anything and I want the sample tested. He then said, "That's not our responsibility. We sub-contracted the production. We'll send you their contact info."
Ok, before I go further, I guess I should explain what happened.
I opened a fresh package of toilet paper rolls - the private label 365 brand from Whole Foods - and when I put my finger into the core of one of the rolls to pull it out of the plastic packaging, I felt something densely moist and a bit slimy. It was 5am, so I was a little slow. I removed my finger and it was covered with brown stuff. It stunk. Like shit. It was shit.
That's right. Someone stuffed a bunch of shit into the core of this toilet paper roll. I freaked out. Tore the packaging apart to see what else was there. Scrubbed the life out of my hands and ran out of the bathroom. My 10 year old daughter went in and I didn't realize it, so she also encountered this horror. She dropped one of the rolls into the toilet, ran out and washed her hands in the kitchen.
I can't begin to tell you how creeped out I was. What kind of sick person does such a thing?
More importantly, its a potential health risk. I have a compromised immune system. I need to know if I've been exposed to anything. (I felt sick all day yesterday, but that could be panic, I suppose.)
So, I called Whole Foods. I couldn't get a corporate number. They don't put one on their website. A little Googling got me one, but it was an answering machine. I didn't want to leave a message. So, I called the store manager. I wasn't even sure how to spit out the story. Its so outlandish. But I did and he was quite good about it. He was stunned, of course. In the end, he told me he would send someone to pick it up.
That person never arrived. Instead, I received a call from a lawyer, who refers to Whole Foods as his client. As I said above, he first advised me to just throw it away. When I explained that I wanted it tested, he basically brushed me off. He said an insurance adjuster would call with contact info for the production company to whom they contracted the production of this product. The insurance adjuster never called.
This morning the lawyer called me back, still saying that he advises his client against touching the product because it would ruin the "chain of custody". He says he's trying to reach the production company himself. (Marcal Paper Mill in Chicago, according to him.) He says the two phone numbers he has are not working, though. He's trying to find good phone numbers.
I'm not looking for much here. I need to know if there is a health concern. I also think the production facility needs to be inspected. Its a public health concern if some psycho employee is doing this. I hope this is a single instance, but how could we know? I have no sense the Whole Foods is going to do anything other than have Marcal call me. They gave me no indication that they were going to do anything. They were not taking any responsibility at all.
I tried calling our state's Attorney General and was accused of trying to get someone to pay my medical bills. Was told to hire a private attorney.
I'm not seeking any such thing. I have health insurance.
Where do I turn next? I don't want this thing to be sitting around my house. And if I was exposed to something, I want to know sooner rather than later.
Update:
- The Whole Food attorney called me back and then a VP from Marcal called.
- Marcal says they will take sample and test it. When I asked how I could be assured that they would send it to a good lab and send me the test results, she said, "You'll just have to take my word for it." I'm not comfortable with that.
- Also, she said that this is not the first time that something has been found in a roll. She wouldn't say what had been found in the other incidences.
- I have no interest in taking this to the media. I cringe at the thought of what they would do with this and to me.
- I'm not interested in some big lawsuit. I simply want health assurances and for them to make some effort to figure out who did this.
- I have called an attorney and await a return call.
- Thank you all for helping me think this through.