But let's begin in Washington. Tomorrow afternoon, President Barack Obama will give a major speech unveiling his long term deficit reduction plan. So you know what that means. Deficit reduction plan viewing party! Yo, yo! Let's get some spreadsheets, some guacamole, and some hookers, it's on! The President's speech follows the release of the Republican deficit plan, authored by Wisconsin dreamboat, I mean, Congressman, Paul Ryan. The Hump Budget Committee, I mean, House Budget Committee Chair Man of my dreams, I'm sorry, Chairman of my dreams. It's like Eddie Munster grew up to be a J.C. Penney catalog model. So he's your spoonful of sugar. Let's have the medicine.
JONATHAN KARL, ABC NEWS (4/5/2011): Ryan is calling for $6.2 trillion in cuts over the next 10 years. ... The biggest cut in Ryan's plan is Medicaid, slashed by $750 billion over 10 years. ... And most explosively, it would eventually end Medicare as we know it, replacing it with taxpayer subsidized private insurance plans.
Ah, so the medicine is taking the form of, "you can no longer afford medicine". But props to Ryan, for whatever it's worth, it is in fact a plan.
(audience laughter at graphic) Really? 'Cause when we came up with that at 8:30 in the morning, we should've just gone home.
The Party of No is now the party of "nnnno". And now we get to see why it can be somewhat frustrating to follow the way our government does business. Um, everyone here was alive a year ago, right? You remember the health care debate, "Obamacare"? Republicans very unhappy.
JOHN BOEHNER (7/30/2009): In their bill, it says that after five years, you can't go out and buy a health insurance policy on your own. You have to go to one of their government exchanges.
SEN. RON JOHNSON, R-WI (3/25/2010): ... it will ration care ...
REP. CHARLES BOUSTANY, R-LA (1/18/2011): Well, this bill robs the Medicare program of over $500 billion ... Seniors are very, very upset about this.
Exchanges, difficult end of life decisions, cuts to vulnerable seniors. Well guess what? Ryan's plan is all that, plus a $750 billion cut to Medicaid. How do they characterize a plan like that now?
NEWT GINGRICH (8/22/2010): Congressman Paul Ryan has done the most creative thinking of anybody in Congress.
(wild audience laughter & applause)
Yes, he took something you thought sucked, crossed out the "D", wrote an "R", and now you love it. And the Democrats rightfully decried the hyperbolic language Republicans used when they said health care would undermine America, there were going to be death panels.... Now, how are they taking the news of Ryan's plan?
REP. ALBIO SIRES, D-NJ: The majority's proposed budget for Fiscal Year 2012 undermines our nation's values and priorities.
REP. JAN SCHAKOWSKY, D-IL: It's unconscionable, and it's silly.
REP. DEBBIE WASSERMAN SCHULTZ, D-FL: This plan would literally be a death trap for some seniors.
Literally a death trap for some seniors! I'm 48 years old, I've only seen one death trap for seniors, and it was the Matlock Season 3 DVD Amazonian spike pit of death.
I miss you, grandpa!
So is Ryan's a brilliant plan, a death trap, a brilliant death trap? Let's hear from the man himself, in this video he made explaining his plan.
PAUL RYAN: The way we respond to this challenge will ultimately define our generation. We can choose a path to prosperity. Let's take a look at how we can do it. Our debt as a share of the economy is already too high, but look at where it's going.
Holy shit! Awesome! It's like I can reach out and literally grab the crushing burden we're placing onto future generations.
By the way, production value here makes Democrats look bad, all they've been doing is rolling out Goolsbee and his 99 cent white board.
C'mon, Goolsbee, get with the program! It's the 21st century, you look like you're about to challenge Vicki Lawrence to a game of Win, Lose, or Draw.
All right. So we're on an unsustainable, classically music-scored road to ruin. So tell us, Ryan, what would you do about it? And see if you can use the cinematographer from The Social Network.
PAUL RYAN: Here's what would happen under our proposed budget, what we're calling the Path to Prosperity. As you can see, we won't come anywhere close to the tipping point, and we'll pay off the debt over time. So how will we do it? We will cut spending.
So cutting spending reduces our debt.... Hey, you know what else might work? Gimme some of that creepy music. Computer graphics askew, please. What if we also attack our deficit by getting rid of the Bush tax cuts?
Oh, look at that! What an interesting reduction! Was that considered in the Ryan plan? It's the same damn thing! The data says no!
And Ryan says the government voucher you'll get instead of Medicare won't affect your ability to pay for health care, because it will increase at the rate of inflation, which is currently 2.1%. Oh look at that. I mean, I can reach that, that's not far away. You know what, this must be confusing you, let's do this to music again.
(Vangelis' "Chariots of Fire" starts playing)
No problem, cost covered! Unfortunately, health care costs currently rise at the significantly higher rate of 2.9%.
Oh, oh! I can't reach that! I'm old! I just broke my hip! It's all right, just leave me here, I'll decompose myself.
But I'll give Paul Ryan this, he's being honest, we do face a massive debt crisis. And I'll give him credit, he's put a plan forward to fix it. And it's just like Paul Ryan says himself.
PAUL RYAN: The facts are very, very clear. The United States is heading towards a debt crisis. The only solutions will be truly painful for us all. But that doesn't have to be our future.
Exactly. To avoid a future that would be painful for us all...
... all we need is a present, that's painful for some.
We'll be right back.
Jon also looked at the 2012 GOP primary, and how it's Mitt Romney against a whole bunch of absolute crazy people. He then had on Deval Patrick to talk about how "Romneycare" has helped Massachusetts. Stephen also looked at the 2012 GOP primary as well, and talked about it with NRO's Rick Brookheiser. Stephen also looked at how he started a new Twitter trend about the lies of Sen. Jon Kyl (R-AZ), and then looked at the latest right-wing fearmongering over gay marraige. This time, they compare gay sex to secondhand smoke. No, really, they do.
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