Dear Dr. Gingrich,
I read on the Internet that you've recently lost some of your campaign staff. You have my deepest sympathies at this trying hour. Not just my sympathies, but my aid in this dark hour.
Sir, I would like to manage your campaign. I believe I could supply innovative ideas which would invigorate your campaign and allow you not only to achieve your goals, but to humiliate the traditional consultants in the process.
A few of these innovative ideas are supplied below.
First - it is a common meme that voters dislike someone who appears too intellectual, that you must avoid "talking down" to voters. Let's face it - you won't be able to stand the temptation to do that. So, instead, I propose turning a weakness into a strength.
You are the only PhD running (Dr. Paul has an MD). Therefore, you have the opportunity to talk down to your opponents rather than to voters. The voters don't dislike educated people; they dislike educated people who tell them things they don't want to hear. Most pastors are educated and the Republican base flocks to hear them every Sunday. So, pull out that PhD in modern European history and ... shall we say, embellish historical points to embarrass your opponents. Something like this:
"Mitt, the Hapsburg Empire tried to impose a mandate to purchase health care upon the Hottentots in 1737, and the Hottentots rose up and defeated them at the battle of Bachlava and drove them from the country. And that's what's going to happen to you, and to President Obama."
None of your opponents will be able to call you on it. Most of them couldn't spell Hapsburg, and Sarah Palin probably thinks Hapsburg is a variety of ground beef. Some members of the press will realize something is up - but your base won't care. They are trained that the media attacks right-wing figures who speak the truth. They want it to be true that history confirms their irrational convictions, and so they will believe your version over that of 10,000 unbiased reporters quoting actual historians. As Sarah Palin has shown, they'll even edit Wikipedia to support what you say.
Second - your wife Calista is hot. Buy her some nice jewelry and clothes and have her follow Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin around and provide the GOP men who are thinking with their glands, and the women who admire a tasteful outfit, someone just as attractive as Michele or Sarah, but who supports you instead of them. Perhaps Tiffany & Co would extend some credit?
Third - the most skilled Republican politician of our time is not Ronald Reagan, but Richard Nixon. Take a page from Nixon. Announce you have a secret plan to end the recession, but you can't provide any details. Intimate that if you did provide details, certain parties would sabotage your plan because of their Kenyan Colonial world view that leads them to hate capitalism.
Oh, and whatever you do - don't hire this guy. He lacks my innovative touch and I have reason to believe he's actually after your opposition research. You can trust me, though. Honest.