Ed's Take on the 2012 Republican Field.
Here's my take on the field of Republican Hopefuls.
- Palin can't win outside of the Old Confederacy and Alaska. Badly damaged merchandise, she shit her jeans with yellow turds when she quit as governor of Alaska. Her brand was further tarnished by the shooting in Arizona. Not even "Tide" can clean her jeans enough to win.
- Huckabee can't win outside of the Old Confederacy. Has the baggage of being a Baptist Preacher and a lot of folks won't go for a Baptist or any other kind of preacher. A decent guy with just too much baggage.
- Perry can't win outside of the Old Confederacy. He wet his shorts over the whole secession silliness and won't be able to dry them out any time soon. You can smell the stink from Perry a block away. As an added bonus, he's a whack job.
- Pawlenty. Nobody's ever heard of him, Pawlenty can't win outside Minnesota and the folks in the Old Confederacy don't vote for people from Minnesota. They don't "do" Yankees. Pawlenty is a solution in search of a problem.
- Gingrich can't win outside of the Old Confederacy. Gingrich is a problem in search of a solution. Three failed marriages soiled his britches as he was never able to shake the habit of divorcing his spouses when they were diagnosed with cancer. A rotten human being full of arrogance, no perfume can overcome the stink from Gingrich's britches.
6 Haley Barbour can't win outside of the Old Confederacy. Nobody from Mississippi will ever be elected President. Nothing good ever, is ever, or will ever come out of Mississippi. His footsie game with the White Citizens' Councils badly fouled his shorts and it will be a long time cleaning up the stink from that little poo poo.
- Romney. Their best shot but the evangelicals don't "do" Mormons so this baggage will haunt him for the entire campaign. Romney is a serious adult and that is a real problem for a Republican Party now dominated by juveniles and children who don't suffer adults very well.
- Jeb Bush. Yet another banker and real estate speculator, he will wait until 2016 when he won't have to take on an incumbent President. Would be a good Wall Street type President to represent Big Finance. He won't be in the mix in 2012.
- David Patraeus. Not a likely candidate in 2012. Needs a win in Afganistan to be viable in 2016 and then will run smack into Jeb Bush. Not likely to be able to win the Afghan War, his star will sink in this unwinnable morass.
- Rudy Giuliani. Inept, single issue candidate whose incompetence has outrun his destiny. Going nowhere rapidly. Giuliani is a non-starter whose last campaign distinguished itself with new levels of incompetence at the strategic and tactical levels. A memorably bad campaigner, Giuliani is like a 40 year old baseball player everyone knows but him is finished.
- Bobby Jindal. Racists in the Republican Party will never nominate someone with Indian heritage. There are just too many racists in that party for him to be viable. They just don't do brown skin over there except for a few tokens kept around to try to "prove" what they aren't.
- Charlie Crist. Crist shit his mess kit with the Tea Party and the Republican Party and is finished before even starting on the national stage. His program is a non-starter. Christ is like a NASCAR driver who can't out of Pit Row because the starter on the car is broke. It's time to get out of the car and do something with the stink coming out of that reeking mess kit.
- Lindsey Graham. Nobody from South Carolina will ever be President. Can't win outside the Old Confederacy. Graham is yet one more Southern Confederate Republican who doesn't yet understand what he is. Maybe some day, but don't hold your breath.
- Michelle Bachmann could split the Whacky Vote in the primary with Sarah Palin and send both into a candidate death spiral down the shitter. It's hard to believe the party of Dwight Eisenhower has come to the point offering Nut Cases like Michelle Bachman, but such is the situation. Personal philosophy: "I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back."
Final conclusion: They don't have anybody unless someone breaks from the pack and shows something we haven't seen.