Where in the world is Rick Perry? We haven’t heard much from our Secessionist-in-Chief here in the Lone Star State. Rumor has it he’s regrouping and trying to recapture his lost mojo and faltering campaign. Well, “faltering” is probably not the right word. How about “imploding”?
Today’s Houston Chronicle Blog lists 6 things that Perry needs to do to get his swagger back.
With $17 million in donations from 22,000 donors, he’s got more money than any of his contenders. That averages out to $772 per person, but there’s nothing “average” about Perry’s deep-pocket donors. They didn’t need him to tell them that a $5000 donation would leave him feeling “insulted”. Unfortunately, all the money in the world can't buy Perry an election (well, it can in Texas, but probably not at the national level). He's going to have to do something, and fast, to keep from becoming a political footnote.
Follow along below the crater of Rick Perry’s campaign for some ideas on recapturing the lost mojo…
1. Improve in debates. Perry is the first to admit that he isn’t the greatest debater. But his performances in the past two debates cost him nearly half of his national support.
“There’s an old saying that you have to meet expectations and (Perry) didn’t,” said Susan MacManus, political scientist at the University of South Florida. “There’s a concern that Perry won’t be able to stand side-by-side and debate Obama. If he can’t step it up a little bit in the next two (debates), I think his candidacy is in serious trouble.”
Fresh off his latest debate debacle, Perry sent his reclusive wife Anita out on the trail to inform us that her husband had never, ever had even one debate class. I know: shocking, right? It turns out that courses in animal husbandry don’t prepare person for political (well, they prepare the voters, but that’s another story for another time).
Some speculate that his horrific debate performance was the result of unrelenting back pain following his surgery and controversial stem-cell treatment, drugs taken to quell the pain, or the fact that, despite a lifetime in politics, he’s hardly ever participated in a debate. Then again, it could be low IQ, poor reasoning skills, and limited vocabulary. Whatever the root cause, Anita assures us that he’ll be “better” next time around. Don’t hold your breath.
2. Raise a ton of money. Money doesn’t solve all problems in politics, but it can help a lot. And Perry led the field with $17 million in donations through the end of September. Only two rivals, Romney and Texas Rep. Ron Paul, currently come close to his bank account.
Donating money to Perry is like bringing coals to Newcastle: enough already. This is one area where he doesn’t need any coaching. Money finds him like dog hair finds corduroy pants. Next issue?
3. Refocus GOP on job creation. Perry’s four-point economic message (remember it?) has been obscured by stories about his immunization order, support for in-state tuition for children illegally brought to the U.S. and the one-time name of a hunting lodge his family used. Perry could regain the upper hand with a bold national jobs program based on his Texas successes. Mitt Romney has a 59-point plan to turn around the economy; Herman Cain has a catchy “9-9-9” proposal.
“The next quarter is going to be about playing offense,” says Matt Mackowiak, a Republican strategist.
I couldn’t tell you a single thing about Perry’s four-point economic message. Yeah, I could Google it and paste it here, but let’s go with my version for the moment:
Point 1: Take that federal stimulus money (while concurrently threatening secession and decrying the meddling role of the federal government. Use it to balance your state budget.
Point 2: Keep the border porous, and let your corporate cronies enjoy the continued flow of cheap labor. The profits they make will find their way back to you in the form of campaign donations.
Point 3: Poach jobs from other states. Bonus points for any jobs you can poach from overseas.
Point 4: Realize that there are no “essential” services. Everything can be cut. Don’t believe me? Perry cut the state’s firefighting budget by 75% in the midst of the worst drought and heat ever recorded. Volunteer firefighters are paying their own costs, helped by bake sales and other citizen fundraisers. Texas is still here.
4. Boost support from Christian conservatives. The Christian conservatives are the most reliably Republican bloc. Perry was the run-away leader among them a month ago. Now, he’s struggling against Cain, who shares Perry’s social conservative views but has a private-sector record the governor can’t match. Perry’s next chance to woo the Christian Right comes Friday, when he speaks to the Family Research Council’s “Values Voter Summit” in Washington, D.C.
“He’s competing for the same group of voters that (Michele) Bachmann and Cain and (Rick) Santorum and even (Newt) Gingrich is,” says University of Iowa political scientist Tim Hagle.
“They’re looking for that candidate who’s going to win, and Perry seemed to be the one. But it’s kind of an open question again.”
He’d better hurry up and clinch the Christian conservative vote. So far, he’s managed to keep his many skeletons locked in his Texas-size closet, but one of these days, they’re going to come tumbling out. Those nice Christiany “values voters” are going to be in for a real shock.
5. Reconnect with tea party Republicans. Perry’s economic record of deep spending cuts, balancing the budget without raising taxes, slashing regulation, and going to war against trial lawyers plays well with tea party types. But the immigration issue has caused the governor some serious problems.
Now that Sarah Palin’s besotted Tea Party followers are wading through the 7 Stages of Palin Grief perhaps they’re ready to consider a new object of affection. Who better than our suburban cowboy?
Perry can overcome their concerns about the immigration issue by reminding them that he’s executed more people – including brown people – than any of the candidates, so he’s clearly tough enough and swaggery enough. He’s also a “man of the people”, not some Ivy League elite. Even his unfortunate geological faux pas may endear him all the more to these racist folk. He just needs to crank up the drawl, take off those orthopedic shoes (no matter how much his back hurts) and pull on his high-end cowboy boots, and throw some more of that Texas red meat to these ankle-biters. They'll forget that Sarah person in no time.
6. Shake off Herman Cain. For Perry to win the nomination, he must emerge as the “un-Romney” candidate and regain his previous edge over Cain. Just as Perry and Bachmann have seen some of their support melt away in the heat of the media spotlight, Cain’s could, too. Perry will need to contrast his economic plan — when he has one — with Cain’s detailed approach.
Reading through the weepy, grammatically challenged comments of Sarah Palin’s shocked followers, I was stunned by how many are now turning to Herman Cain. Perry provides a clear contrast to Cain. Don’t make me spell it out for you. Cain may be a fine businessman, but has he got a “Texas Miracle”? Nope.
Please be assured: we’ve got teams of experts searching the Lone Star State for a copy of Perry’s economic plan, and when we turn up a copy, you’ll see it here. It’s been a tough search though. One Post-it note in a 266,807 square mile state… Well, it’s gotta be here somewhere.
Stay tuned...
NOTE re: Poll - I am having some serious poll response truncation problems today: should read
"Pay-per-view executions as part of his new transparency in government approach"
"All new advisers, replacing the Texas "Yes People" who have kept him too insulated"