As the news travels, another scandal is in the headline. This time it is Coach Paterno, and Penn State. A sacred taboo has been crossed, and it challenges each of us with moral implications. The natural tendency, is to ask, who is to blame? Who is at fault? Yet, are these the right questions? Often times, it is the question that is more important than the answer.
I remember it was about ten years ago when I got the news. That's when I knew I had to make a stand. Band practice was cancelled. My singers niece was in the hospital. She had been covered in gasoline, and set aflame. The perpetrators of the crime, were afraid she would talk. These same people were those that had abused my singer when she was a young girl, and yet she never prosecuted them.
As a survivor of childhood sexual assault, I understand her fears. It is not an easy thing to do, to talk about these experiences, to relive the humiliation, to drag ourselves down willingly into a public that is more prone to panic, and less understanding of who we are, and what we are trying to overcome.
Rape is considered the second most violent crime, only surpassed by murder. It is as though we have been killed, and yet left alive. Forevermore we walk amongst the living, and yet a part of us has died. It brings with it, a dissconnectedness, as though we are the living dead.
As the years progress, we wall that part of ourselves in, we hide that part of ourselves, and put on a mask so we can function in day to day society. To expose that mask, to show our true face, that is a taboo. A sin for which we will be forced to suffer further humiliation. This is the cross we survivors bear. We must suffer alone, so as to save society from suffering the burden that we must carry.
So how is Paterno any different? What sane man would choose to carry this burden? Sardunsky was his friend. Why would he suffer the ultimate taboo? When he questioned his friend, Sardunsky said he was horsing around. To question his word was to accept the ultimate taboo. Why would anyone choose such a path?
I understand. Paterno was afraid, as would anyone.
The questions we should be asking, I really can't answer. I'm not a sage, or some mystic with an all seeing vision into the human soul. Perhaps the best question I have, is simply this, why were you afraid?