If I was a poor black kid, I would first and most importantly work to make sure I got the best grades possible. I would make it my #1 priority to be able to read sufficiently.
So, if you are a poor black kid, you should make being able to read a priority. However, if you are a mediocre white jackass, you can skate through life without learning proper grammar. In fact, you can publish your mediocre drivel, chock full of grammatical errors, in a national magazine, while having the AUDACITY to explain that poor black kids need to learn how to read. You even have a fucking editor! Poor black kids don’t have editors. What’s your excuse Gene? Hey jackass, it’s “were”, not “was”. If I WERE a poor black kid, (<-- also take note of the fucking comma!)
And I would use the technology available to me as a student. I know a few school teachers and they tell me that many inner city parents usually have or can afford cheap computers and internet service nowadays.
I’m not sure why you think it’s a good idea to start a sentence with “and” in a magazine article, never mind an entire paragraph. I know standards are a bit looser these days Gene, but for fucks sake, you’re writing for Forbes. It’s not an email to your friends and family.
I know a few school teachers and they tell me that many inner city parents usually have or can afford cheap computers and internet service nowadays. That because (and sadly) it’s oftentimes a necessary thing to keep their kids safe at home then on the streets. And libraries and schools have computers available too.
What the fuck Gene? Stream of consciousness writing is a STARTING point, not the finished product. One of my English teachers used to say that writing sloppily is a good indicator that you haven’t thought through the ideas you are writing about. I’d say this is a prime example.
That because (and sadly) it’s oftentimes a necessary thing to keep their kids safe at home then on the streets.
You’re missing a thought (well, way more than one, but this sentence specifically). That because it’s necessary- what? Because of A, then B. What is B Gene? Did you mean that computers and internet service are necessary to keep kids safe at home? If you want people to understand your stupid ideas, you should explain them clearly!
Also, it’s “than” not “then”. Then usually refers to a later consequence (but has some other uses too), than is a conjunction used in comparisons. Some examples:
“If Gene writes a stupid, racist article, then people will be upset.”
“Gene should find a profession other than writing.”
I already covered using “and” at the beginning of sentences. Gene, you’re not paying attention!
If I was a poor black kid I’d use the free technology available to help me study. I’d become expert at Google Scholar.
What did I just say about paying attention? “Were” not “was”! I’m starting to doubt that you could be an expert at anything at this point. After all, you clearly suck at your chosen PROFESSION, but go ahead and continue with your arrogant, dishonest scenario anyway.
Is this easy? No it’s not. It’s hard. It takes a special kind of kid to succeed. And to succeed even with these tools is much harder for a black kid from West Philadelphia than a white kid from the suburbs. But it’s not impossible. The tools are there. The technology is there. And the opportunities there.
Please, stop using conjunctions at the beginning of sentences. Once again, it’s not technically incorrect, but it makes it look as if you never finished grade school. Can I see your diploma please?
"And the opportunities there.
Really Gene? Maybe the opportunity is there, or the opportunities are there, but "the opportunities there" is glaringly wrong. I would be ashamed if I got paid to write and didn't catch that one before submission.
In the rest of the article, you consistently do the same things over and over. You have some fucking nerve! Insisting that if you were a poor black kid, you would persevere and overcome all obstacles to get a great education and make opportunities for yourself. You obviously didn’t make education a priority for yourself in your first incarnation as a middle class white kid, nor your second as a middle class white guy with a national writing platform. If you had, your writing would be better!
I am not a poor black kid. I am a middle aged white guy who comes from a middle class white background.
You didn’t need to state your race, age, or gender. Everything else you wrote made it patently obvious.