I caught Chris Matthews making a comparison between Richard Nixon and Newt Gingrich. I’m pretty sure he meant it as a slight to the disgraced Speaker, but it was really an insult to the disgraced President.
After all, Nixon did a couple of neat things. He gave us the EPA, socialist un-American job killer that he obviously was. On his watch, we got to moon, demonstrating what we could send, with pinpoint accuracy, to Moscow if we so wished. And, of course, he went to China.
On that last one, you could say: “Well, la dee dah, so did all of our jobs. Even from beyond the grave he did it. Only Nixon could deliver such a necrophiliac’s dream of a mass screwing.”
Okay, okay, that was a cheap un-researched and ignorant shot, I admit. Forgive me, it’s is just too easy and fun to pick on Tricky Dick. Besides, he deserves it.
But Gingrich deserves it more.
Unlike Nixon, he has no real accomplishments. Remember what was in the Contract with America? I doubt it, because a lot of it never made it into law. Remember the promised balanced budget? That never happened either, even with both the House and Senate under Republican control, proving that they were as sincere about it as Reagan, who always demanded, but never submitted, a balanced budget.
What Newt did manage to do was foul the Washington stream of discourse to dysentery levels and beyond. He also somehow managed to land a boot on his own ass while trying to kick Clinton’s. Twice. (Once by shutting down the government because Clinton made him ride in the back of Air Force One, and once by impeaching Clinton for the crime of being a Democrat.) And oh yeah, he met soon-to-be Mrs. Gingrich #3 and commenced the affair that would end his marriage to Mrs. Gingrich #2 (in an interesting parallel, his Republic colleagues would soon abandon him for Dennis Hastert. What comes around goes around).
Anyhoo, I propose a contest: See if you can say, in two lines, how Nixon is different from Gingrich. I, of course, will be ineligible for the non-existent prize I will arbitrarily award, but here are a few modest examples, which I’m sure will be beaten within minutes:
Nixon acted on big ideas.
Newt acts like his ideas are big.
Nixon told several us several times that he was a devoted family man.
Gingrich has told several families that he is devoted.
Nixon had the idea to bug his own office.
The idea of Gingrich in office bugs us.
Nixon had famously low self-esteem.
Gingrich should.