I had a very unhappy childhood full of abuse in many ways.
I was determined that someday I would be rescued by my Prince Charming, and we would all live happily ever after.
Well, that went out with Camelot.
Basically, our deep seated hurts guide us into the same situation again, like another chance to do it right or continue the dysfunction into another generation.
Once upon a time there was a little girl who couldn't wait to grow up to be a beautiful woman.
Everyday she looked in the mirror and scowled at the ugly 12-year-old who looked back at her: "Hey you, you're not going to get anywhere with your looks! Look at your freckles and pimples! Look at your buck teeth! And your hair! It's so bushy! No man is going to want to marry you!"
She would walk away sadly and tell herself that she was just at the ugly duckling stage. Someday she would be beautiful, just as her mother was beautiful before she got married and had all her kids. When she now looked at her mother, she saw a defeated spirit who was often crying because the little girl's father treated her like one of his farm animals.
So to keep her spirits high, the little girl continued to play the violin, grow her tomatoes and ride her pony through the corn fields, hoping that someday her Prince Charming would see the beauty within and would bring her to another wonderful world of promises.
The young girl finally did find herself one day turning into a pretty girl. Soon she would find the man of her dreams who would save her from her dire life on the farm. He would be a man who would love her and respect her. His mission in life would be to make her happy as his wife and mother of their children. The young girl did not want to live with her father any more. He was mean to her mother. Her Prince Charming would rescue her and take her to his castle in the big city with tall buildings and beautiful green parks for their children to plan in.
One day her dream came true. Prince Charming did appear, and just as in her dreams, he fell in love with her....her beautiful eyes, her fiery red hair, her hour-glass body. And she fell in love with Prince Charming. He did rescue her from her sad life of scoldings and quarrels between her mother and father, poverty, bullying from kids in school and fear of what would happen next.
The wedding was grand. The young couple wasted no time in becoming the King and Queen of their new kingdom. Soon they welcomed their first little baby boy and little girl who would one day lead their magical kingdom.
The now Young Queen was about to write, "And they all lived happily ever after," when she turned around and found that her Prince Charming was gone. In his place was her father. Only this time instead of trying to stay out of his way and not hear his demeaning cruel words, she was her mother having to go to bed with him every night.
Instead of escaping her father, she married her father in the guise of a Prince Charming. The Young Queen had stayed a Little Girl too long. In her unspoken desire to have a stronger relationship with her father, she had chosen a man dressed as Prince Charming who was really just like her father.
The Young Queen gulped as she looked at her controlling powerful King. A tear ran down her cheek. Her mother's face flashed before her eyes. She was becoming her mother now.
"I won't," she promised herself that night. "If it takes forever, I won't."
"I will change my Powerful King."
And every daughter after the Young Queen has said the same thing. Few have succeeded. But many have been able to instead change themselves to become Powerful Women in their own way.